Take Care
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
Virginia Gandee's brilliant red hair and dozen tattoos belie the reality of this 22-year-old's life. Gin is raising her 5 year old daughter in a trailer park as a single mother, while taking care of her dying grandfather and pursuing her dream to become a nurse. This is a story about family, choices, and tenacity under the most dire circumstances.
Citation
Main credits
Laub, Gillian (filmmaker)
Laub, Gillian (photographer)
Laub, Gillian (videographer)
Maierson, Eric (film producer)
Other credits
Photography and video, Gillian Laub; interviews, Elena Ghanotakis and Gillian Laub; original music, Then Our Souls.
Distributor subjects
aging, dementia, women studies, family issues, nursing, sociology, children and youth, healthcare, New York City, parenthood; Expository; WOKeywords
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If you don\'t like the way I
look that\'s your problem.
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I need to like the way I look
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and that\'s the most important thing.
00:01:04.033 --> 00:01:05.366
It always seemed to me like
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I was kind of like the black sheep.
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My mom she laughs about it.
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Sometimes that\'s funny
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but it\'s kind of not.
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When you grow up on the
outside of everything,
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it\'s not really a place you
want to be all the time.
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I remember a lot of our childhood,
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it was kind of like a nightmare.
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I was not a good kid.
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I left home when I was 15.
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I met my ex-husband online.
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I was 15, he was 20.
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I missed out on a lot.
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It\'s normal to kind of wonder
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what my prom dress would of looked like
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if I would of made it down that road.
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Me and Melody have Medicaid.
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I also get food stamps
that help with groceries.
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It worries me and I get
sad when I think about
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how she\'s going to be when she gets older.
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I feel like she deserves to
have that princess moment
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where like daddy walks
you down the aisle and
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he\'s there your first date,
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with a shotgun.
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My mom\'s great.
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She gives me a break if
I feel like I\'m getting
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a little bit overwhelmed.
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And she never really complains about it.
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She’s awesome.
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Wow.
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I’m going to be going to the College
of Staten Island, hopefully.
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I put in the application and everything.
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What if I go to school
and wanna be a nurse and
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I\'m no good at it?
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I\'m terrified every day
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I put off a lot of stuff in my life.
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I\'m scared of trying
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because I\'m scared of failing.
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What if I don\'t get married
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and I don\'t have a father
figure for Melody?
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I don\'t get to experience anything normal.
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That\'s terrifying.
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What if I go through all
the schooling and graduate
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and take the test and then I get
there and realize I can\'t do it,
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What am I supposed to do then?
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This is like the best
picture in the world to me.
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This is my favorite picture
of my grandfather.
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When he got out of the war and he got back
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he was kind of an alcoholic.
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He had been violent occasionally.
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He wasn’t necessarily the
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lo Vey-dovey-spoil-your...
grandkids-kind-of-grandpa.
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He taught me how to kill
a man with my bare hands
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when I was like six.
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You know? Like,
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this is my grandfather.
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Yeah.
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You\'re doing good.
00:04:06.334 --> 00:04:08.867
120, 130.
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The hardest thing for me
really is watching him suffer.
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I need the hand back, though.
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Here, how about you take my hand
and I\'ll take your hand, OK?
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You can chew and I\'ll take this one.
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You good?
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Yes.
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OK.
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Taking care of him,
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things that I have to do,
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they hurt him.
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And that\'s really hard for me to
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have to do.
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This isn’t how he would want to live.
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And this isn’t dignified.
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I\'m constantly worried about him.
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Anytime I get up in the
middle of the night,
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I’m like going in there to check
to make sure he\'s still breathing.
00:05:01.834 --> 00:05:04.132
Mommy?
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What honey?
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I need help.
00:05:06.234 --> 00:05:08.700
With what? I thought you
could do it all by yourself.
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I did do it all by myself
but I can\'t open it.
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Oh, you can\'t open it?
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I feel like she might hold a
little bit of resentment because
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I can’t always drop what I\'m doing and
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do stuff with her.
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A lot of me taking care
of him is just kinda like
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trying to make up for
being such a shitty kid
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when I was younger.
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And my way of also kind
of forgiving him for
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being kind of angry all the time.
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It means a lot to me that
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I get to tell him that I love him every day
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and we’ll be here to hold his hand
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so he\'s not doing it alone in
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some cold hospital room.
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It\'s going to be really weird when
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he\'s not here anymore.
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He\'s, he\'s uh...
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He\'s just always been here. So...
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like I\'ve dealt with death before,
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but nothing this close.
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Like he\'s my father.
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My biggest
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worry is that I’m not going
to be able to handle it.
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Like, I feel like,
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like I\'m going to have to put
on like, like a brave face
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or something and I just,
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I don\'t know if I can.
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Like I don\'t know if I\'ll be strong enough
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to bounce back from that.
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I want to be for Melody a strong,
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independent woman.
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No matter
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who comes and goes or
what happens in her life
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the only 100% sure thing,
in her life, is me.
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And I have to be better.
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I have to do better.
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I have to make the good choices
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and then tell her to make \'em.
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One week later, Virginia\'s grandfather,
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George Aswad, passed away.
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He was 87.
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The following week,
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Virginia was accepted to nursing school.
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Dedicated to George Aswad