00:00:28.583 --> 00:00:30.125
[Matt] Sixteen down.

00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:37.333
“When you start to tell somebody about
a fairytale, what would you say?”

00:00:37.417 --> 00:00:39.042
[Helena] A fairytale?

00:00:40.667 --> 00:00:42.458
[Matt] If you were sitting down with the children,

00:00:42.542 --> 00:00:45.292
you’re going to tell them a fairytale,
how would you start it?

00:00:47.167 --> 00:00:49.292
Once…

00:00:49.417 --> 00:00:50.833
Upon a time.

00:00:50.917 --> 00:00:52.167
Isn't it?

00:00:54.667 --> 00:00:56.250
Once upon a time.

00:01:13.458 --> 00:01:15.125
[Helena] I'm trying to remember.

00:01:18.500 --> 00:01:19.792
It was…

00:01:21.833 --> 00:01:23.333
It was…

00:01:27.125 --> 00:01:28.833
[Peter] You look very happy together.

00:01:30.083 --> 00:01:31.792
What age were you back then?

00:01:34.083 --> 00:01:37.250
[Helena] My mother was from…

00:01:40.167 --> 00:01:42.167
I'm trying to think if…

00:01:44.792 --> 00:01:47.250
-[Helena] What's her name?
-[Matt] 1970.

00:01:48.708 --> 00:01:49.708
September.

00:01:50.542 --> 00:01:51.625
Where was it?

00:01:52.125 --> 00:01:53.917
[Peter] There’s the two of you.

00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:58.875
[Helena] I'm trying to say that when I had taken…

00:02:01.042 --> 00:02:03.000
[Matt] Billy and Peter, what
did you do with them?

00:02:03.292 --> 00:02:04.792
You reared them, yeah.

00:02:04.917 --> 00:02:07.250
[Helena] It's years, so many years.

00:02:07.583 --> 00:02:08.750
[Peter] She looks very happy.

00:02:09.250 --> 00:02:10.500
[Helena] She was always…

00:02:10.583 --> 00:02:12.417
I'm trying, I'm trying to think back.

00:02:12.625 --> 00:02:14.125
[Matt] Too long ago, wasn't it?

00:02:16.125 --> 00:02:20.417
[Helena] It comes back to me
at times, what happened.

00:02:21.500 --> 00:02:23.125
[Matt] You don't remember who that is?

00:02:24.375 --> 00:02:27.167
-[Peter] Cool teenager.
-[Helena] When Peter was…

00:02:29.167 --> 00:02:31.208
[Peter] I think you showed it
to me before, years ago.

00:02:31.792 --> 00:02:33.625
[Helena] No, it lingers on.

00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:05.083
[Peter] This is going to be true and false.

00:03:08.292 --> 00:03:10.667
This is an exploration of my feelings,

00:03:10.833 --> 00:03:13.167
so it's not always going to make sense.

00:03:38.417 --> 00:03:39.375
Alright.

00:04:05.500 --> 00:04:07.000
Will we do the crossword?

00:04:07.333 --> 00:04:08.583
Alright?

00:04:18.167 --> 00:04:20.833
“It contains most of
the Earth's population.”

00:04:20.958 --> 00:04:22.292
Four letters.

00:04:22.500 --> 00:04:25.833
Now, the second letter
is S, and the last letter is A.

00:04:25.917 --> 00:04:27.458
What are the continents?

00:04:27.625 --> 00:04:32.292
You've America, you've
Europe, South America.

00:04:32.958 --> 00:04:34.417
And what's the other one?

00:04:38.458 --> 00:04:39.833
Besides Europe?

00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:45.167
Starts with an A, A-S.

00:04:46.333 --> 00:04:47.625
Four letters.

00:04:48.917 --> 00:04:54.500
You have Europe, North America,
South America, Australia.

00:04:54.792 --> 00:04:56.375
And what's the last one?

00:04:58.917 --> 00:05:00.458
Asia, isn't it?

00:05:02.208 --> 00:05:04.208
-Isn't it?
-I don't know.

00:05:04.542 --> 00:05:05.833
I think it is, anyway.

00:05:05.917 --> 00:05:07.375
Well, it fits.

00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:11.333
-What?
-It fits.

00:05:17.250 --> 00:05:19.708
“Reserved and uncommunicative.”

00:05:19.917 --> 00:05:21.583
You're being very
uncommunicative at the moment, Helena.

00:05:21.667 --> 00:05:23.458
Come on. You have to get into this.

00:05:23.583 --> 00:05:25.375
[Matt and Helena laugh]

00:05:27.083 --> 00:05:28.750
-Getting lazy.
-What?

00:05:28.833 --> 00:05:31.208
-Getting lazy.
-You certainly are.

00:05:33.708 --> 00:05:35.167
You certainly are.

00:05:38.417 --> 00:05:40.000
[Matt] We got that one,
didn't we? “A prison term.”

00:05:40.042 --> 00:05:41.042
We did, yeah.

00:05:42.125 --> 00:05:43.958
I think we're stuck at this stage, Helena.

00:05:44.833 --> 00:05:46.000
So we are.

00:05:47.667 --> 00:05:50.667
-[Matt] We're not doing too good.
-[Helena] No, we're not.

00:05:55.125 --> 00:05:57.958
[Matt] “A woman in relation to her child.”

00:06:00.208 --> 00:06:02.292
What would you call--

00:06:02.375 --> 00:06:05.333
What would you call
the woman that was related to a child?

00:06:05.875 --> 00:06:07.500
Starts with an M.

00:06:14.042 --> 00:06:18.375
[Peter] What's been happening
to my mum is shocking and scary.

00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:22.500
I'm both experiencing it,

00:06:22.625 --> 00:06:27.708
but also almost observing it as well,
and it kind of feels distant at times.

00:06:35.667 --> 00:06:40.542
Losing your memory
is like watching a bullet

00:06:42.042 --> 00:06:45.833
in slow-mo for years coming
towards you, and you can't avoid it.

00:06:51.875 --> 00:06:54.333
So much is actually about recounting memory…

00:06:57.375 --> 00:06:59.333
and about shared memories.

00:07:05.833 --> 00:07:10.958
And only with your memories
are you able to construct who you are.

00:07:12.375 --> 00:07:14.750
-[Matt] Who is it?
-[Helena] Peter.

00:07:14.917 --> 00:07:17.000
[Matt] Where? Which is Peter?

00:07:17.167 --> 00:07:18.000
Yeah.

00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:21.458
-[Helena] What year?
-[Peter] 1979.

00:07:22.625 --> 00:07:24.000
[Helena] Peter and Billy.

00:07:25.542 --> 00:07:27.542
-[Helena] And me.
-[Matt] Do you not remember who that is?

00:07:29.292 --> 00:07:31.042
[Helena] I'm trying to…

00:07:33.125 --> 00:07:35.167
[Peter] You're almost asking the
question, “who is this person?”

00:07:35.250 --> 00:07:36.917
because they’ve changed so much, and

00:07:37.000 --> 00:07:39.875
then you catch glimpses of
her, her way of saying things

00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:42.625
and then suddenly you're like,
well, she is still there.

00:07:44.167 --> 00:07:45.250
Do you remember this?

00:07:46.750 --> 00:07:48.333
What age were you back then?

00:07:48.625 --> 00:07:50.042
[Helena] I'm trying to think.

00:07:50.958 --> 00:07:52.917
-It looks as if you're…
-15.

00:07:53.750 --> 00:07:55.000
Yeah, you probably were.

00:07:56.833 --> 00:07:59.417
What do you think was going
through your mind at the time?

00:08:07.458 --> 00:08:09.708
-See it with the light.
-Yeah.

00:08:11.708 --> 00:08:13.292
Yeah, you were very cool.

00:08:13.375 --> 00:08:14.583
Cool teenager.

00:08:21.375 --> 00:08:26.167
[Peter] Thinking about and
processing the relationship with my mum

00:08:28.125 --> 00:08:34.000
the art side of my life has
suddenly become a form of therapy.

00:09:02.667 --> 00:09:08.125
My work is very much about
discovery of what the self means.

00:09:09.583 --> 00:09:14.625
I'm trying to really provoke and
push my own sense of vulnerability

00:09:14.958 --> 00:09:18.083
and create multiple characters,

00:09:18.167 --> 00:09:21.708
multiple versions of
myself that can tell different stories.

00:09:27.333 --> 00:09:32.750
The driving force behind that is
pointing in a direction of how I can have

00:09:32.833 --> 00:09:35.250
a communication, a
conversation with the public.

00:09:39.375 --> 00:09:42.083
I'm trying to be as vulnerable as possible

00:09:42.167 --> 00:09:44.375
and to open up as much as possible,

00:09:44.458 --> 00:09:47.958
and the more that you open up and
the more that you become vulnerable,

00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:49.833
the more that people open up with you.

00:09:57.583 --> 00:09:59.375
When you create these characters,

00:09:59.458 --> 00:10:02.333
they have a huge amount of
me in them but they also

00:10:02.417 --> 00:10:07.083
have other people. They also
have my past, my present.

00:10:11.792 --> 00:10:17.042
I've never approached my work as
purely me as an individual,

00:10:18.917 --> 00:10:23.208
even though I put all of my emotion and
honesty and vulnerability out there.

00:10:24.083 --> 00:10:27.667
But this kind of isn't about me,
really. It’s about somebody else.

00:10:34.542 --> 00:10:36.583
There's so many
conversations I'd love to have and

00:10:36.667 --> 00:10:39.792
so many things that I just would
love to have found out about her.

00:10:44.750 --> 00:10:47.208
I don't think we ever properly had a

00:10:48.292 --> 00:10:52.708
conversation as two grown adults
in the way that I'd like to have had.

00:10:54.208 --> 00:10:56.458
It would have been great
to have these conversations

00:10:56.542 --> 00:10:57.958
but I never really did.

00:12:00.375 --> 00:12:02.542
-[Peter] Oh, God.
-[Helena laughs]

00:12:03.042 --> 00:12:04.917
It's a tad embarrassing, isn't it?

00:12:06.750 --> 00:12:08.250
I think it's funny.

00:12:14.333 --> 00:12:15.833
[Peter] There's the two of you.

00:12:18.667 --> 00:12:20.042
Do you remember the day?

00:12:21.000 --> 00:12:21.917
[Helena] I do.

00:12:24.042 --> 00:12:25.875
-And I made my dress.
-You did?

00:12:26.083 --> 00:12:26.750
Yeah.

00:12:27.667 --> 00:12:29.083
How long did that take?

00:12:30.417 --> 00:12:32.000
Not very…

00:12:34.042 --> 00:12:35.417
You were pretty quick.

00:12:42.250 --> 00:12:44.333
-Look at that one.
-Yeah.

00:12:44.500 --> 00:12:46.667
-Oh, yeah.
-That was in Ibiza.

00:12:46.708 --> 00:12:48.583
Okay, so that's when you arrived.

00:12:48.625 --> 00:12:50.292
-Yeah.
-Look at the stylish pair.

00:12:50.375 --> 00:12:53.917
And she actually made that
outfit herself as well.

00:12:54.000 --> 00:12:55.667
-Did you?
-Yeah.

00:12:58.042 --> 00:12:59.792
Wow. Very stylish.

00:13:02.625 --> 00:13:04.375
Where did you learn that, then?

00:13:04.458 --> 00:13:05.500
Did you…

00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:09.583
-How do you mean?
-To learn dressmaking?

00:13:12.292 --> 00:13:14.167
Did you do a course?
You did a course.

00:13:14.292 --> 00:13:17.125
Oh, I did. I forgot about that.

00:13:18.667 --> 00:13:21.625
Completely. It…

00:13:24.792 --> 00:13:27.292
-Is that Conor?
-It is, yeah.

00:13:33.958 --> 00:13:37.167
Do you remember the course then?
That you were doing in…

00:13:41.667 --> 00:13:43.583
Too long ago, wasn't it?

00:13:44.875 --> 00:13:46.833
Yeah, the dresses were great.

00:13:47.542 --> 00:13:49.250
You'll have to teach me someday.

00:14:24.208 --> 00:14:31.125
[Helena] I met him in one of the
dance halls, or something.

00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:35.875
He was different.

00:14:38.875 --> 00:14:44.625
Because a lot of them at that
time would have, just, go.

00:15:02.625 --> 00:15:05.542
My mother, she liked him.

00:15:11.417 --> 00:15:16.833
It was at the airport that we got married.

00:15:23.708 --> 00:15:25.792
A lot of people were saying,

00:15:25.875 --> 00:15:29.125
"You'll have to do this”
and “You’ll have to do that.”

00:15:30.542 --> 00:15:32.625
Which I didn't do.

00:15:38.042 --> 00:15:41.375
We went away for a while

00:15:42.667 --> 00:15:43.958
and…

00:15:46.958 --> 00:15:50.000
just took off then.

00:15:56.417 --> 00:15:59.000
I'm trying to remember but I…

00:16:03.958 --> 00:16:07.042
It was summer and sunny.

00:16:44.417 --> 00:16:45.583
[Matt] Okay.

00:16:45.625 --> 00:16:46.958
You got it?

00:16:47.417 --> 00:16:48.792
I don't know.

00:16:48.875 --> 00:16:50.417
-Don't go…
-No, no, no.

00:16:50.500 --> 00:16:51.583
It's okay.

00:16:57.833 --> 00:16:59.250
-There you are.
-Okay.

00:17:00.750 --> 00:17:03.375
Oh, I can't breathe.
[Helena giggles]

00:17:06.625 --> 00:17:09.208
Yeah, that's it. You don't
need anything else.

00:17:13.458 --> 00:17:15.000
Get your glasses.

00:17:17.875 --> 00:17:19.125
There you are.

00:17:29.625 --> 00:17:32.333
[Matt] Do you remember Peter,
when he was only four or five?

00:17:35.750 --> 00:17:38.167
Billy would fill the bucket
and he'd make a sandcastle.

00:17:38.833 --> 00:17:42.000
But Peter wouldn't use the bucket at all.

00:17:42.083 --> 00:17:43.958
He'd build up little walls, and then

00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:48.042
he’d wait for the water to come in
and to go around it as well, too.

00:17:49.125 --> 00:17:51.958
All the time looking to
do something different.

00:17:54.542 --> 00:17:58.917
As a kid he used to do a bit of painting
as well, too, but he wasn't that much into it.

00:18:00.292 --> 00:18:02.500
-You remember that?
-[Helena] I do.

00:18:04.500 --> 00:18:08.833
And do you remember when he told us that
he was doing some street art?

00:18:10.042 --> 00:18:12.042
You weren't too happy, sure you weren't?

00:18:16.958 --> 00:18:18.583
Why weren't you too happy?

00:18:19.208 --> 00:18:20.750
Do you remember?

00:18:20.792 --> 00:18:22.083
Yeah.

00:18:26.583 --> 00:18:28.042
When he was doing the painting, do you remember

00:18:28.125 --> 00:18:30.208
he was painting the
walls and everything as well too?

00:18:30.792 --> 00:18:33.000
And you said it was
like graffiti, you know?

00:18:33.083 --> 00:18:36.167
-Yeah.
-And that it shouldn't be done.

00:18:38.500 --> 00:18:40.042
And I was a bit the same as well, too.

00:18:40.125 --> 00:18:44.042
But then when he explained to us
what he was doing and the way he did it.

00:18:44.292 --> 00:18:47.167
He used to actually get pieces of timber,

00:18:47.250 --> 00:18:51.125
basically, out of skips, and he'd paint on
the timber and then put it up on the wall.

00:18:51.500 --> 00:18:53.958
He actually wasn't painting on the wall at the time

00:18:54.792 --> 00:18:56.625
unless he got permission.

00:18:57.083 --> 00:18:58.958
But even as a kid, I mean,

00:18:59.000 --> 00:19:01.833
he was always looking to do
something different, wasn't he?

00:19:01.958 --> 00:19:03.083
Always.

00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:06.125
Always.

00:19:09.417 --> 00:19:11.042
But he's still at it.

00:19:11.125 --> 00:19:12.083
Yeah.

00:19:32.958 --> 00:19:35.125
[Peter] The way people think about Alzheimer's

00:19:35.208 --> 00:19:37.792
is the destruction of a person,
something falling apart.

00:19:42.917 --> 00:19:45.833
People are terrified of it, absolutely terrified of it,

00:19:45.917 --> 00:19:48.292
because when they meet somebody with Alzheimer's,

00:19:48.375 --> 00:19:51.333
they think about themselves in that situation,

00:19:51.458 --> 00:19:54.000
losing their own memories, and
there's a terror around that.

00:19:57.500 --> 00:20:00.625
You can be scared of getting sick, but actually losing

00:20:00.708 --> 00:20:04.125
your memories is kind of heart-stopping.

00:20:54.042 --> 00:20:55.667
-Hey.
-How are you?

00:20:55.750 --> 00:20:57.458
Very good. Can you take that?

00:20:58.083 --> 00:21:01.583
So these are the bits from the skip.

00:21:03.458 --> 00:21:06.000
I don't know how we'll cut
these down, but use some of the--

00:21:06.042 --> 00:21:08.042
-You want me to cut these into thin strips?
-Yeah.

00:21:08.125 --> 00:21:11.792
So for some of the smaller ones, and then…

00:21:12.750 --> 00:21:15.875
just probably stain them down.

00:21:16.083 --> 00:21:18.250
I was talking to my daughter about doing this actually,

00:21:18.333 --> 00:21:20.833
and she asked me what a blackboard was.

00:21:21.417 --> 00:21:22.375
No. Really?

00:21:22.417 --> 00:21:23.625
-Well, they don't have them.
-There's none in schools whatsoever?

00:21:23.708 --> 00:21:25.208
There's none. No idea.

00:21:25.250 --> 00:21:27.000
She's 12. She didn't know what it was.

00:21:27.000 --> 00:21:28.125
Wow.

00:23:38.417 --> 00:23:41.500
I don't say I'm exhausted, I say I’m weary.

00:23:42.750 --> 00:23:45.500
I mean the days are long
as you can… and you know that.

00:23:45.583 --> 00:23:48.750
I mean this is what you've
related to me time and time again.

00:23:49.250 --> 00:23:51.250
And that, you know, I say

00:23:51.333 --> 00:23:54.500
I can talk to Helena but I
can't have a conversation with her.

00:23:56.500 --> 00:23:58.375
I mean, I have my good--

00:23:58.458 --> 00:24:01.208
I have my bad spells, but
not as bad now as normal.

00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:06.125
I'm a lot more in control of myself, really, you know?

00:24:12.042 --> 00:24:13.958
You're due a visit.

00:24:18.333 --> 00:24:20.167
Alright. Okay.

00:24:20.833 --> 00:24:22.125
Okay.

00:24:24.750 --> 00:24:26.833
That's great, and listen now also as well too,

00:24:26.917 --> 00:24:31.875
I need to talk to the district nurse
in regards to respite as well, too.

00:24:36.333 --> 00:24:37.583
God bless and thank you.

00:24:37.667 --> 00:24:38.500
Bye-bye.

00:24:53.042 --> 00:24:54.792
“Paralysing fear.”

00:24:54.875 --> 00:24:56.292
Six letters.

00:24:59.208 --> 00:25:00.542
Starts with a T.

00:25:02.625 --> 00:25:03.708
T-E.

00:25:05.500 --> 00:25:07.250
You're frightened. Fear.

00:25:07.875 --> 00:25:10.083
What's another word for frightening?

00:25:12.458 --> 00:25:13.625
Terror.

00:25:20.708 --> 00:25:22.542
You're not helping me here, Helena.

00:25:25.167 --> 00:25:26.667
We should get that one.

00:25:26.958 --> 00:25:28.625
“Classical dance form.”

00:25:29.667 --> 00:25:31.667
Don’t know. Five, six letters.

00:25:32.500 --> 00:25:35.125
I don't know, so I can’t help you.

00:25:37.625 --> 00:25:39.583
And you can't help me.

00:25:46.542 --> 00:25:53.458
[indistinct radio]

00:26:05.750 --> 00:26:07.375
[Matt] This one, Helena. Now.

00:26:07.458 --> 00:26:08.458
Twenty-one down.

00:26:09.750 --> 00:26:13.917
“One who suffers from memory loss.”
[Matt and Helena laugh]

00:26:15.625 --> 00:26:17.083
That me, is it?

00:26:17.750 --> 00:26:19.708
“One who suffers from memory loss.”

00:26:21.500 --> 00:26:23.042
What is it? Starting with A.

00:26:23.125 --> 00:26:24.292
A-L.

00:26:28.333 --> 00:26:30.792
-Everything all right, Helena?
-On the road.

00:26:31.250 --> 00:26:33.375
-It's a lovely morning, isn't it?
-Yeah.

00:26:34.375 --> 00:26:35.417
A lovely morning.

00:26:38.917 --> 00:26:40.333
[Peter] How has she been recently?

00:26:42.125 --> 00:26:44.125
[Matt] Getting through it, as the fellow says.

00:26:44.458 --> 00:26:45.542
[Peter] Yeah.

00:26:46.292 --> 00:26:47.375
[Matt] That's the way it is.

00:26:48.042 --> 00:26:49.458
That's going way back.

00:26:50.542 --> 00:26:52.125
[Peter] You're surprised she's forgetting things

00:26:52.208 --> 00:26:54.542
and also surprised what
she remembers as well.

00:26:57.042 --> 00:27:00.375
-[Helena] She was an awful snob.
-[Matt] She was, yeah.

00:27:01.333 --> 00:27:02.708
She sure was.

00:27:05.542 --> 00:27:07.792
-[Peter] It's kind of scary.
-[Matt] It is scary.

00:27:07.875 --> 00:27:09.750
[Peter] It's not kind of scary. It is scary.

00:27:09.833 --> 00:27:13.250
[Matt] It is scary, and, I mean, it's
very hard to comprehend that.

00:27:17.458 --> 00:27:19.333
Do you want to have a quick look at that, no?

00:27:21.042 --> 00:27:22.583
See that you might, you might.

00:27:22.667 --> 00:27:23.458
No.

00:27:25.917 --> 00:27:27.792
Oh, right. No harm in looking at it.

00:27:29.542 --> 00:27:31.708
“Not at home.” Four letters.

00:27:32.792 --> 00:27:34.208
[Helena] Out.

00:27:34.292 --> 00:27:35.667
[Matt] No, four letters.

00:27:49.375 --> 00:27:51.000
Do you want to watch the racing?

00:27:52.542 --> 00:27:54.833
-Not particularly.
-No, that’s okay.

00:27:56.500 --> 00:27:58.708
“It's gone. It's amiss.”

00:27:58.792 --> 00:28:00.458
Four letters, starting with L.

00:28:01.875 --> 00:28:03.208
What would you call it?

00:28:05.083 --> 00:28:07.708
-[Helena] Amiss.
-[Matt] No, starting with L. Something’s gone.

00:28:07.792 --> 00:28:08.667
It's amiss.

00:28:11.333 --> 00:28:12.500
Starting with L.

00:28:15.458 --> 00:28:16.500
It's gone.

00:28:17.917 --> 00:28:18.917
Lost.

00:28:39.625 --> 00:28:43.333
[Helena] Going on holidays and getting a break.

00:28:44.542 --> 00:28:46.708
You're bigger than the mountain, Matt.

00:28:57.667 --> 00:28:59.625
[Helena] We went to America.

00:29:01.625 --> 00:29:04.292
My mother had a sister.

00:29:05.250 --> 00:29:08.625
This is the town of
John, San Juan Batista.

00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:11.250
It's a very quaint town.

00:29:11.292 --> 00:29:12.417
[Helena] It was--

00:29:13.333 --> 00:29:14.792
[Matt] Helena said I should
give a commentary

00:29:14.875 --> 00:29:16.500
and that this is the island of Alcatraz.

00:29:16.583 --> 00:29:19.667
Helena said this is the Golden Gate
Bridge, and I think she's right.

00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:21.042
[Helena] They were…

00:29:23.000 --> 00:29:24.125
It was in--

00:29:24.167 --> 00:29:27.250
You can hear the seals
in San Francisco Harbour.

00:29:29.208 --> 00:29:30.708
San Francisco Bay.

00:29:31.542 --> 00:29:33.917
[Helena] It's years, so many years.

00:29:35.125 --> 00:29:36.833
I'm trying to think back.

00:29:37.917 --> 00:29:40.208
Matt missing the eighteenth hole.

00:29:41.833 --> 00:29:45.375
-Hey, erase that film.
-[Helena laughs]

00:29:59.250 --> 00:30:01.458
[Peter] Everyone has multiple masks.

00:30:03.875 --> 00:30:05.875
When we're with our
friends, we're one thing.

00:30:05.958 --> 00:30:07.542
When we're with our parents.

00:30:07.708 --> 00:30:12.333
Every relationship that we
have is acting out a role.

00:30:15.500 --> 00:30:18.792
And I think that has confronted me

00:30:18.958 --> 00:30:22.958
like a truck with my mum and
that sense of who we are.

00:30:54.708 --> 00:30:56.333
[Peter] Remember this?

00:30:56.750 --> 00:30:58.042
[Helena laughs]
Yeah.

00:31:00.500 --> 00:31:04.000
I love the way every time you see a
picture of me when I was a kid, you laugh.

00:31:04.083 --> 00:31:07.458
-I do not.
-You do. Every single time.

00:31:12.792 --> 00:31:14.083
That was my first day.

00:31:15.875 --> 00:31:17.125
Oh, my God.

00:31:17.917 --> 00:31:19.458
I was drawing that today.

00:31:20.625 --> 00:31:23.125
I was, yeah. I was doing
a chalk drawing of it.

00:31:24.958 --> 00:31:27.250
-Were you?
-Yeah, it's in the car. Did you not see it?

00:31:27.333 --> 00:31:29.292
-No.
-It's in the back seat of the car.

00:31:33.417 --> 00:31:35.042
I'll show you when we go back--

00:31:35.125 --> 00:31:36.792
This is what they…

00:31:38.875 --> 00:31:40.333
-The smock.
-The smock.

00:31:40.417 --> 00:31:42.917
-Yeah. They're cool, aren't they?
-Yeah.

00:31:43.417 --> 00:31:45.417
-And the glasses.
-Yeah.

00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:47.417
I need them now, actually.

00:31:47.500 --> 00:31:49.333
-I need to get glasses now.
-Who?

00:31:49.375 --> 00:31:50.958
-Me.
-You?

00:31:51.000 --> 00:31:52.667
-Yeah.
-Oh.

00:31:53.167 --> 00:31:55.458
My eyes are getting worse. Getting old.

00:31:58.458 --> 00:32:02.750
I'm doing a load of
drawings of old photographs.

00:32:04.375 --> 00:32:06.375
That's one of them. That's the first one.

00:32:07.292 --> 00:32:08.792
Look at the dog.

00:32:13.833 --> 00:32:15.500
You'll have to come and see them.

00:32:33.375 --> 00:32:37.708
[Peter] I was very close to my mum when
I was a younger kid and teenager.

00:32:37.833 --> 00:32:41.958
And I think as I got older
and left college, I kind of

00:32:42.417 --> 00:32:47.542
forged my own way and
wasn't focused on my family as much.

00:32:56.667 --> 00:33:00.625
We often disagreed on stuff, and I think
we disagreed on it probably because

00:33:00.750 --> 00:33:04.750
she was probably trying to reconnect
with a younger version of me,

00:33:04.917 --> 00:33:08.625
and I was trying to establish a new version of me with

00:33:08.708 --> 00:33:11.083
my own opinions and outlook in life.

00:33:11.708 --> 00:33:15.750
And I think I kind of pushed back
against that when I was older,

00:33:16.667 --> 00:33:18.542
and maybe pushed back too much.

00:33:24.208 --> 00:33:27.125
The last big chat with her was years ago.

00:33:28.292 --> 00:33:30.167
My dad instigated it because I was

00:33:30.250 --> 00:33:32.667
constantly finding fault and being dismissive.

00:33:34.083 --> 00:33:35.375
[Matt] There's a hole in the roof.

00:33:36.250 --> 00:33:38.333
But Peter said it doesn't rain here at all.

00:33:38.458 --> 00:33:39.833
Said don't worry about it.

00:33:43.042 --> 00:33:44.542
[Peter] She was a worrier.

00:33:46.958 --> 00:33:49.083
And I was very harsh about that.

00:34:06.375 --> 00:34:09.500
[Matt] ...how he comes up with these ideas
and how he does achieve them.

00:34:09.625 --> 00:34:10.667
It's just amazing…

00:34:22.500 --> 00:34:24.125
[Helena] When I go out…

00:34:26.958 --> 00:34:30.583
At times it…

00:34:38.250 --> 00:34:41.458
At times, it comes back to me.

00:34:45.292 --> 00:34:47.792
I was going out.

00:34:50.333 --> 00:34:56.250
I had Peter. I had Billy as well, and…

00:34:59.750 --> 00:35:01.958
Coming around towards…

00:35:07.250 --> 00:35:08.583
As you go around to…

00:35:13.167 --> 00:35:14.417
The bomb.

00:35:25.500 --> 00:35:27.875
[News Reporter] Good evening.
As you just heard on the news,

00:35:27.958 --> 00:35:30.458
fifteen people killed in the Dublin car bombs

00:35:30.542 --> 00:35:32.500
and four killed in Monaghan.

00:35:35.833 --> 00:35:37.208
[Helena] It was terrifying.

00:35:37.458 --> 00:35:40.208
[Witness] There was people thrown right across
here, right in the centre of the road.

00:35:40.292 --> 00:35:43.083
The whole place just turned grey
with metal flying all over the place.

00:35:43.458 --> 00:35:45.417
[Helena] It took an awful lot out of me.

00:35:45.500 --> 00:35:46.875
[Witness] Just chaotic, when they go off…

00:35:46.958 --> 00:35:47.917
The men, women, and children.

00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:50.292
Screaming and roaring and everything.
It was just a ball of fire.

00:35:50.375 --> 00:35:52.292
It was just shocking altogether.

00:35:52.458 --> 00:35:54.500
[Helena] That's the biggest one.

00:35:57.833 --> 00:35:59.708
It lingers on.

00:36:02.917 --> 00:36:03.958
Peter.

00:36:06.167 --> 00:36:08.250
He wouldn't have been here.

00:36:19.875 --> 00:36:22.333
[Peter] It might be over simplistic, but

00:36:23.250 --> 00:36:26.375
after she was nearly caught in
the Dublin Monaghan bombings,

00:36:26.458 --> 00:36:30.250
all those worries kind of build and
build and build, and she was

00:36:30.333 --> 00:36:35.542
probably anxious for reasons of
wanting the best for her kids.

00:36:46.542 --> 00:36:47.667
She'll suffer.

00:36:49.833 --> 00:36:52.583
With her hair. Well done.

00:36:54.167 --> 00:36:55.375
Good show.

00:37:00.083 --> 00:37:02.833
[Peter] My mum was just one of those people who,

00:37:03.292 --> 00:37:08.042
I suppose, over the years,
gave a lot of herself to other people.

00:37:09.208 --> 00:37:11.333
[Helena] Do you want to get in here?

00:37:12.667 --> 00:37:16.542
[Peter] And I think that was partly her,
what she saw or might have seen

00:37:16.625 --> 00:37:19.917
as a role, to be
somebody there for other people.

00:37:20.208 --> 00:37:22.708
I don't know if she was
there for herself, really.

00:37:22.750 --> 00:37:23.875
Oh, my gosh.

00:37:23.917 --> 00:37:26.708
-What is it, burning rice?
-I have a curse.

00:37:26.833 --> 00:37:28.125
You're burning rice--

00:37:28.208 --> 00:37:30.500
-How could you burn rice?
-I've never burned rice.

00:37:30.583 --> 00:37:31.708
You burn carrots, though.

00:37:31.792 --> 00:37:34.708
Does anyone have any better
stories about my cooking?

00:37:36.250 --> 00:37:37.917
I think that's a no.

00:37:44.958 --> 00:37:46.083
Is that okay?

00:37:48.042 --> 00:37:50.083
[Peter] Weirdly, with her Alzheimer's,

00:37:50.167 --> 00:37:55.667
there’s this layer of worry
that I think has lifted off her.

00:37:57.250 --> 00:38:01.125
People can get aggressive, can
get violent, can get angry.

00:38:01.958 --> 00:38:05.708
But for her, she's
really happy at the moment.

00:38:08.208 --> 00:38:09.583
Dangerous.

00:38:11.500 --> 00:38:13.958
[Peter] But is it her anymore?

00:38:17.292 --> 00:38:20.208
-Look at how shaky my hands are.
-Try this below one, there.

00:38:20.292 --> 00:38:21.542
-Yeah, that one there.
-This one?

00:38:21.625 --> 00:38:24.208
-Yeah, pull that one out.
-Keep pulling it out.

00:38:25.750 --> 00:38:27.417
Now you have to put it on top.

00:38:27.792 --> 00:38:29.042
I don't want it.

00:38:31.292 --> 00:38:32.625
The one on the bottom.

00:38:32.708 --> 00:38:33.875
Okay, who's next?

00:38:35.625 --> 00:38:36.542
Daddy!

00:38:38.583 --> 00:38:39.875
You lose!

00:38:42.167 --> 00:38:43.333
Very good.

00:39:00.542 --> 00:39:02.292
And do a silly face.

00:39:15.792 --> 00:39:16.958
Perfect.

00:39:23.833 --> 00:39:25.167
Did you enjoy that?

00:39:29.333 --> 00:39:30.917
Okay. You’re done.

00:39:31.000 --> 00:39:32.250
Get out of here.

00:40:28.875 --> 00:40:31.333
-[Helena] What are we doing?
-[Matt] We’re going to get into the car.

00:40:31.458 --> 00:40:32.458
[Helena] And what?

00:40:36.792 --> 00:40:39.875
[Matt] Into the car, and we'll head then.

00:40:43.083 --> 00:40:44.292
I'll get it for you now.

00:40:58.958 --> 00:41:01.042
[Matt] I'll collect you later on now, okay?

00:41:01.083 --> 00:41:03.375
-You will not.
-Sorry?

00:41:03.458 --> 00:41:04.958
-You will not.
-I will, yeah.

00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:06.792
No, I'll come back, yeah.

00:41:06.833 --> 00:41:08.042
You won't.

00:41:09.042 --> 00:41:10.333
You will.

00:41:10.417 --> 00:41:11.792
Yeah, absolutely.

00:41:14.083 --> 00:41:16.458
-Now, Sebo.
-Morning, Helena.

00:41:16.583 --> 00:41:18.417
How are you?

00:41:19.083 --> 00:41:21.875
Good to see you. I'm taking over.

00:41:21.958 --> 00:41:24.542
Okay, Sebo. Okay, all the best.

00:41:24.583 --> 00:41:25.500
Bye, bye. Bye, Sebo.

00:41:25.583 --> 00:41:28.625
-Bye, bye, bye.
-I'll collect you later, okay?

00:41:28.875 --> 00:41:30.083
Good morning, everybody.

00:41:30.208 --> 00:41:31.750
How are we all doing?

00:41:31.792 --> 00:41:33.875
How was everyone's tea
and coffee this morning?

00:41:33.958 --> 00:41:35.792
-Great.
-Brilliant.

00:41:35.833 --> 00:41:37.125
We're going to do what
we do every morning.

00:41:37.167 --> 00:41:39.667
We're going to do a little exercise class.

00:41:40.125 --> 00:41:44.417
We're going to grip our baton like
this with our palms facing up, okay?

00:41:44.583 --> 00:41:48.917
And we're going to put our ribs--
our elbows, right into our ribs.

00:41:49.000 --> 00:41:51.458
-[Helena] Row, row, row your boat--
-[Staff] And what we're going to do is...

00:41:51.708 --> 00:41:56.625
We're going to move the baton to
under our chins and then back down.

00:41:56.708 --> 00:41:59.500
So up under our chins and back down.

00:41:59.708 --> 00:42:09.375
So one, two, three, four, five, six,

00:42:09.625 --> 00:42:15.292
seven, eight, nine, and ten…

00:42:38.167 --> 00:42:40.875
[Matt] When I bring her to the daycare,

00:42:41.000 --> 00:42:43.750
I feel that I'm letting her down.

00:42:45.917 --> 00:42:49.458
Should I be doing this? Should I not
be looking after her myself?

00:43:04.750 --> 00:43:07.417
When I look back ten, fifteen, twenty years ago

00:43:07.500 --> 00:43:11.750
and somebody said to me that
this is the situation we're going to be in,

00:43:12.250 --> 00:43:15.958
I don't think I'd be
able to comprehend it.

00:43:19.542 --> 00:43:23.333
In our relationship, we didn't have
an awful lot of time off together.

00:43:25.125 --> 00:43:29.125
I was gone in the morning and coming home
late, one or two o’clock in the morning

00:43:29.250 --> 00:43:31.875
basically, from the
pub and the restaurant trade.

00:43:32.583 --> 00:43:33.833
When you work for yourself,

00:43:33.917 --> 00:43:37.292
you put your shoulder to the wheel
and you just put in the hours.

00:43:41.833 --> 00:43:45.083
I always tried to get at least one day a week off

00:43:45.542 --> 00:43:49.542
so that we could go off and do
something with the lads and that as well, too.

00:43:50.833 --> 00:43:52.917
She adored her two sons,

00:43:53.000 --> 00:43:56.208
and anything that was to be done
for Billy and Peter, she done it.

00:43:56.458 --> 00:44:00.375
But she also helped
with the business as well too.

00:44:00.875 --> 00:44:03.667
She worked there during the day,
and she looked after the lads at night,

00:44:03.750 --> 00:44:05.500
in the evening times,

00:44:05.583 --> 00:44:08.583
and sacrificed a
lot from her own point of view.

00:44:10.917 --> 00:44:13.250
We worked well together.

00:44:13.333 --> 00:44:17.292
She was always there for me,
and she was always very supportive.

00:44:18.542 --> 00:44:20.583
And that's something that I miss.

00:44:27.417 --> 00:44:28.917
Go ahead, guys.

00:44:42.417 --> 00:44:44.250
[Staff] Now, Helena, I have something in here.

00:44:46.083 --> 00:44:48.708
-Can you recognise that?
-Oh, my God.

00:44:59.083 --> 00:45:03.292
Do you remember what was
the first clothes that you made?

00:45:03.417 --> 00:45:05.917
My wedding.

00:45:06.000 --> 00:45:08.000
Wedding dress? Was it the first one?

00:45:08.083 --> 00:45:10.333
-Yeah.
-Oh, my goodness.

00:45:10.625 --> 00:45:12.292
That's Matt and myself.

00:45:12.375 --> 00:45:15.000
Yeah, that's Matt and yourself. That's right.

00:45:15.167 --> 00:45:18.000
And you made that
costume as well, don't you?

00:45:18.083 --> 00:45:20.458
-I did.
-It's very nice, yeah.

00:45:21.542 --> 00:45:23.542
Was it very difficult to make?

00:45:24.000 --> 00:45:25.542
-Not really.
-Okay.

00:45:25.583 --> 00:45:27.792
And did you go to school
to learn how to make it?

00:45:27.875 --> 00:45:29.833
No. I just made it.

00:45:29.917 --> 00:45:32.333
Really? You're very talented.

00:45:33.333 --> 00:45:33.917
Not anymore--

00:45:33.958 --> 00:45:36.542
It's easier to do it when you
love something to do it, isn't it?

00:45:36.625 --> 00:45:38.083
-Yeah.
-Very nice.

00:45:38.167 --> 00:45:39.583
-It is.
-Yeah.

00:45:45.250 --> 00:45:46.917
Look at me.

00:45:58.125 --> 00:45:59.917
[Helena] I had a machine.

00:46:01.458 --> 00:46:03.167
A sewing machine.

00:46:05.667 --> 00:46:09.750
I liked making bits and pieces.

00:46:11.417 --> 00:46:13.750
Mainly dresses.

00:46:14.625 --> 00:46:18.292
And what else did I?

00:46:24.167 --> 00:46:30.417
When I made the dress,
everybody was surprised.

00:46:32.167 --> 00:46:33.917
People admired it.

00:46:52.125 --> 00:46:56.167
[Peter] Was that a pattern you used,
or was that your own design?

00:46:56.250 --> 00:46:57.708
-My own.
-Hmm?

00:46:57.792 --> 00:47:00.375
-My own.
-It was your own design?

00:47:01.375 --> 00:47:02.667
It was very cool.

00:47:02.708 --> 00:47:04.583
It was very Jackie Onassis.

00:47:12.958 --> 00:47:14.833
[Peter] That generation of mums,

00:47:14.917 --> 00:47:18.125
it was very difficult to be an individual.

00:47:21.125 --> 00:47:24.500
To step out of the norm or step out of the

00:47:24.542 --> 00:47:27.042
rhythm of the way other
people were doing things.

00:47:31.667 --> 00:47:35.542
There's probably hopes and dreams
that she had that never got realised.

00:50:21.458 --> 00:50:23.750
[Doctor] It's been a while since we did a focus on

00:50:23.833 --> 00:50:25.708
the memory and that side of things.

00:50:25.833 --> 00:50:28.208
Is it okay if we go through those
silly questions with you again

00:50:28.292 --> 00:50:30.750
just to see how things are today?

00:50:30.792 --> 00:50:32.667
Would that be okay with you? All right.

00:50:33.417 --> 00:50:36.167
Do you know what day of
the week it is today?

00:50:40.042 --> 00:50:41.917
-I haven't a clue.
-You don't have a clue.

00:50:42.000 --> 00:50:43.542
Alright. Do you know what month it is?

00:50:43.625 --> 00:50:44.917
Oh I do…

00:50:51.583 --> 00:50:53.292
Sure, it doesn't matter, does it?

00:50:53.542 --> 00:50:55.583
All right, last little bit now.

00:50:55.667 --> 00:50:57.417
I'm going to give you one minute,

00:50:57.500 --> 00:51:00.875
or rather, I'm going to do a
little bit of artwork here.

00:51:02.125 --> 00:51:03.750
I want you look at that circle.
Do you think you could

00:51:03.833 --> 00:51:07.917
think of it as face of a clock and
put the numbers in on the clock?

00:51:35.125 --> 00:51:37.542
Don’t worry about it. Will we leave it, Helena?

00:51:40.458 --> 00:51:43.875
For what it's worth, we last
did that more formal--

00:51:43.958 --> 00:51:45.833
-It's a long time ago.
-Yeah.

00:51:46.083 --> 00:51:47.958
It's close enough to 18 months ago.

00:51:48.500 --> 00:51:51.500
At that time, Helena,
when we asked her where she was,

00:51:51.583 --> 00:51:55.125
day of the week, all that stuff, she got
five of those ten questions right.

00:51:55.208 --> 00:51:56.125
-Okay.
-And today--

00:51:56.208 --> 00:51:58.542
-None.
-That's correct, yeah.

00:51:58.625 --> 00:52:01.250
And in spelling a word backwards,

00:52:01.333 --> 00:52:04.750
she actually gave me two
of the right letters the last time and

00:52:04.833 --> 00:52:07.125
none today, and I just thought towards the end

00:52:07.167 --> 00:52:09.458
I was upsetting her
really by pushing it on.

00:52:09.542 --> 00:52:11.167
So I think we'll park that.

00:52:11.333 --> 00:52:13.750
So I think what we're looking at is down the road,

00:52:13.875 --> 00:52:17.625
it will be the inability to provide the care she needs--

00:52:17.667 --> 00:52:19.500
-Okay. I'm with you.
-At home.

00:52:20.625 --> 00:52:22.875
I don't think you've arrived at that point yet

00:52:22.958 --> 00:52:26.083
but I think you're absolutely
right in doing the prep work,

00:52:26.125 --> 00:52:29.833
because with the best will in the world,
for most people, for most families,

00:52:29.917 --> 00:52:34.250
for practically everyone, there comes a point
where it stretches beyond what

00:52:34.333 --> 00:52:38.458
any one individual, even with
support of carers, can do.

00:52:39.792 --> 00:52:42.500
[Matt] Well, I'm coping at the moment.

00:52:42.583 --> 00:52:44.542
Okay. There are times when--

00:52:44.583 --> 00:52:50.333
I wouldn't say I get depressed,
but I question myself…

00:53:28.500 --> 00:53:30.500
[Matt] People say, “Well, you know,

00:53:30.583 --> 00:53:34.625
think about yourself, think about your own life,
of what you want and what you want to do.”

00:53:36.208 --> 00:53:41.208
But I would move mountains, basically,
if I felt that I could do anything more.

00:53:44.833 --> 00:53:48.042
As far as I'm concerned, the past is gone.

00:53:48.167 --> 00:53:50.208
I can't change that.

00:53:51.000 --> 00:53:55.333
She is the love of my
life, and we're still here.

00:54:07.083 --> 00:54:10.000
“Shook with fear or cold.”

00:54:12.917 --> 00:54:15.958
If you were shaking with fear
and cold, what would you be?

00:54:20.208 --> 00:54:21.667
Starting with T.

00:54:25.333 --> 00:54:28.250
-I know it.
-What's the word?

00:54:28.333 --> 00:54:32.917
Yeah. Tr-- Trem--

00:54:34.083 --> 00:54:35.458
Trembling.

00:54:47.750 --> 00:54:50.667
Here we are. This side.

00:55:06.250 --> 00:55:08.167
Put on your belt.

00:55:13.833 --> 00:55:15.333
There we are, now.

00:55:24.125 --> 00:55:28.167
Physically, she's very, very healthy,
which is a big advantage.

00:55:28.250 --> 00:55:30.375
-And she's still very, very calm.
-Yeah.

00:55:30.875 --> 00:55:35.625
But even yesterday, I
mean the questions are coming a lot more.

00:55:35.958 --> 00:55:39.458
She's forgetting that she's
even asking me questions.

00:55:40.292 --> 00:55:41.750
That's only in the last week or two?

00:55:41.792 --> 00:55:43.208
It's only in the last week or two.

00:55:43.292 --> 00:55:45.458
Before that, I mean, she would,

00:55:45.542 --> 00:55:49.250
15 minutes or 20 minutes later,
she'd say, “Well, where are we going?”

00:55:49.500 --> 00:55:51.708
But now it's every five minutes.

00:55:51.792 --> 00:55:54.792
She's forgotten she's even
asked me five minutes.

00:55:56.042 --> 00:55:57.583
But that's the way it is.

00:55:57.625 --> 00:56:00.583
-Does that go in ebbs and flows or does it?
-I'm not sure.

00:56:00.667 --> 00:56:03.125
Maybe because she was
tired or something. It could be.

00:56:03.208 --> 00:56:05.500
I don't know. I don't know.

00:56:06.042 --> 00:56:08.875
Are you just noticing it
more, or it is just--

00:56:08.958 --> 00:56:10.000
It's very noticeable.

00:56:10.083 --> 00:56:13.250
Well, it is noticeable.
I've noticed it a lot more now.

00:56:14.958 --> 00:56:19.042
Even with people, she's seeing people
and asking me who they are, you know?

00:56:19.125 --> 00:56:19.958
Yeah.

00:56:21.583 --> 00:56:23.542
It's tough going, so it is.

00:56:23.583 --> 00:56:24.583
Yeah.

00:56:33.000 --> 00:56:34.333
[Matt] Oh, my God.

00:56:35.833 --> 00:56:38.250
It's amazing to see them
all together, so it is.

00:56:40.708 --> 00:56:42.042
[Helena] Look at him.

00:56:43.458 --> 00:56:45.583
[Peter] You have to stop
laughing at me as a child.

00:56:45.708 --> 00:56:49.042
Every time you see a picture of
me as a child, you start laughing.

00:56:55.917 --> 00:56:57.833
-I think this one here…
-Which?

00:56:58.000 --> 00:57:00.250
Yeah. Yeah, it is.

00:57:06.125 --> 00:57:07.917
So do you like them?

00:57:07.958 --> 00:57:09.250
I do.

00:57:14.458 --> 00:57:15.833
Is that you?

00:57:15.958 --> 00:57:17.083
-Is that me?
-Yeah.

00:57:17.167 --> 00:57:19.125
-It's Billy and me, yeah.
-Billy.

00:57:19.833 --> 00:57:23.000
-I'm the little one.
-[Helena laughs]

00:57:58.625 --> 00:58:00.333
Thanks all for coming.

00:58:00.458 --> 00:58:06.167
This has been a project about
memory, and it's about our own memories

00:58:06.250 --> 00:58:09.083
and the memories that
we have through our lives.

00:58:09.125 --> 00:58:13.292
Our families, our children,
our parents, they're fragile things,

00:58:13.375 --> 00:58:16.917
wonderfully fragile in some ways,
and terrifyingly fragile.

00:58:17.125 --> 00:58:20.625
But one of the things that I've discovered
about this project and about

00:58:20.667 --> 00:58:24.542
living through this is
no matter what happens with somebody

00:58:24.583 --> 00:58:28.042
forgetting something,
people remember them in different ways.

00:58:28.083 --> 00:58:32.042
People, by talking about them and
sharing these memories, they live on.

00:58:32.125 --> 00:58:34.208
It's not about worrying
about forgetting things.

00:58:34.292 --> 00:58:36.667
It's not about, “will it last?”

00:58:36.708 --> 00:58:40.708
Actually, it's about sharing those memories in
the moment and living through it.

00:59:46.917 --> 00:59:48.917
-Enjoy your evening?
-Hmm?

00:59:49.000 --> 00:59:50.167
Did you enjoy your evening?

00:59:50.208 --> 00:59:51.958
-I did.
-Good.

00:59:53.875 --> 00:59:56.042
It's all about you in these photos.

01:00:06.583 --> 01:00:08.625
[Helena] Peter's very kind.

01:00:11.917 --> 01:00:13.125
He is.

01:00:14.208 --> 01:00:16.125
He's always kind.

01:00:22.292 --> 01:00:24.417
We never fought.

01:00:27.625 --> 01:00:29.833
And he definitely was creative.

01:00:34.667 --> 01:00:38.125
I saw what he could do.

01:00:40.667 --> 01:00:44.333
It was lovely that he was doing it.

01:00:48.875 --> 01:00:50.208
Pride.

01:00:51.000 --> 01:00:52.375
It's important.

01:00:54.417 --> 01:00:57.333
I'm very, very lucky.

01:03:08.208 --> 01:03:11.958
[Peter] I think it's such a visceral and

01:03:12.083 --> 01:03:17.750
contradictory thing to put so much emotion
into an image that is so personal,

01:03:18.292 --> 01:03:23.083
but to want people to destroy it
or to want the rain to wash it away.

01:03:26.792 --> 01:03:28.708
But I'm relishing it being destroyed.

01:03:39.542 --> 01:03:43.958
As much as this seems depressing and sad,

01:03:44.125 --> 01:03:47.750
which there's no avoiding it, it is.

01:03:53.417 --> 01:03:58.750
By creating 15 blackboards
and putting them all out onto the street,

01:03:58.917 --> 01:04:03.250
in locations that are relevant
to her or relevant to that image,

01:04:03.750 --> 01:04:08.667
I'm highlighting the joy of all those
memories and the significance of them.

01:04:23.208 --> 01:04:30.250
Chalk on blackboards feels like a very
real metaphor for what Alzheimer's is.

01:04:32.083 --> 01:04:36.208
And hopefully, that connects
with people and it can--

01:04:36.375 --> 01:04:40.542
It provokes a thought about
how fragile our memories are.

01:05:24.542 --> 01:05:26.125
Just hold that for a second.

01:05:28.042 --> 01:05:31.750
-This is the duster for the blackboard.
-Oh.

01:05:31.958 --> 01:05:34.375
To rub it off, and there's the chalk.

01:05:35.292 --> 01:05:37.625
-I didn't say to rub that off, now.
-Oh!

01:05:39.667 --> 01:05:42.542
Here, hold on to that box as well.

01:05:46.750 --> 01:05:48.542
Do you remember living here?

01:05:50.500 --> 01:05:51.667
No.

01:05:52.208 --> 01:05:54.375
-How could I?
-Hmm?

01:05:54.500 --> 01:05:56.000
How could I?

01:05:56.333 --> 01:05:58.333
This is where you grew up, isn't it?

01:06:00.792 --> 01:06:03.000
So do you remember who this is?

01:06:03.333 --> 01:06:05.208
-It's not Mammy.
-What?

01:06:05.333 --> 01:06:07.083
-It's not Mammy.
-It is your mum.

01:06:07.208 --> 01:06:10.208
-It's not.
-Well, that's you.

01:06:12.125 --> 01:06:13.500
That's your mum.

01:06:14.958 --> 01:06:16.292
It is your mum.

01:06:16.542 --> 01:06:18.167
Who else would it be?

01:06:21.792 --> 01:06:23.833
Why don't you think it's her?

01:06:24.208 --> 01:06:27.250
-I wouldn't recognise her.
-Well, you were only a baby.

01:06:27.417 --> 01:06:29.208
She was younger at that stage.

01:06:31.500 --> 01:06:33.500
This is the original photo,
and that's the drawing.

01:06:38.708 --> 01:06:40.750
So we're going to put
it up now on the wall.

01:06:42.250 --> 01:06:43.750
-Are you?
-Yeah.

01:06:44.167 --> 01:06:45.708
Do you want to give me a hand?

01:06:49.542 --> 01:06:50.708
Come on.

01:06:51.458 --> 01:06:52.917
Lift it up a bit more.

01:06:54.250 --> 01:06:55.458
There we go.

01:06:56.125 --> 01:06:57.417
I'll keep you.

01:07:00.708 --> 01:07:01.958
Perfect.

01:07:02.042 --> 01:07:03.250
All right.

01:07:03.500 --> 01:07:04.875
You come around this side.

01:07:05.792 --> 01:07:07.042
All good?

01:07:08.208 --> 01:07:10.958
You're earning your keep today.

01:07:14.375 --> 01:07:15.708
There we go.

01:07:16.000 --> 01:07:17.042
Excellent.

01:07:17.125 --> 01:07:18.375
Well done.

01:07:18.458 --> 01:07:20.583
-Ready to go?
-Yes.

01:07:21.958 --> 01:07:26.542
We're just going to leave it here to see
if anyone will rub it out or draw on it.

01:07:26.708 --> 01:07:28.708
So I'm going to leave the duster here.

01:07:34.208 --> 01:07:35.708
And some chalk.

01:07:36.000 --> 01:07:37.583
Do you want to put some chalk on it?

01:07:40.042 --> 01:07:41.792
Just leave some chalk down there.

01:08:14.958 --> 01:08:18.583
[Helena] My mother was from…

01:08:22.708 --> 01:08:25.917
My mother was from Cavan.

01:08:33.833 --> 01:08:35.750
Everybody loved her.

01:08:38.083 --> 01:08:40.542
Everybody, even up to now.

01:08:42.542 --> 01:08:47.250
She's the most kind person that you can meet.

01:08:51.000 --> 01:08:53.125
There were very good days.

01:08:57.708 --> 01:08:59.708
Very happy days.

01:09:54.667 --> 01:09:58.708
♪ Happy birthday, dear Helena ♪

01:09:59.125 --> 01:10:01.292
[Matt] It's one candle for every ten years.

01:10:04.833 --> 01:10:06.750
You're bigger than the mountain, Matt.

01:10:50.125 --> 01:10:53.708
[Bystander] She remembers faces, but
if you asked her her name, she wouldn't--

01:10:53.750 --> 01:10:56.125
-Okay.
-She can't express anything, really.

01:10:56.208 --> 01:10:59.375
She can't talk to you, which is
the hardest part of it, you know?

01:11:00.833 --> 01:11:07.292
[Voice] I felt a guilt and a frustration that
there was nothing I could do to stop it

01:11:07.458 --> 01:11:13.625
and to protect her from the wrecking
ball that Alzheimer's was in her life.

01:11:15.833 --> 01:11:21.125
We were angry and upset and frustrated,

01:11:21.292 --> 01:11:23.542
but we just had to accept it.

01:11:27.833 --> 01:11:29.792
I'm going to try draw a Pop Eye.

01:11:30.083 --> 01:11:33.917
My granddad had Alzheimer's and he
had a big massive Pop Eye tattoo,

01:11:34.000 --> 01:11:35.042
so I'm going to get that.

01:11:35.875 --> 01:11:39.333
You're always a child and they're always a
parent and you want to ask their advice

01:11:39.500 --> 01:11:45.125
and take their wisdom and take their
insight and I miss the conversations…

01:11:49.500 --> 01:11:53.375
What we went through together
enriched us as a couple.

01:11:53.500 --> 01:11:56.417
It was done out of pure
love and nothing else.

01:12:01.042 --> 01:12:04.667
I found, at the end of everything,

01:12:04.792 --> 01:12:10.583
I found great comfort to know
that I had done the very best I could.

01:12:10.625 --> 01:12:15.125
When you love someone that much,
you will push through anything.

01:12:15.167 --> 01:12:18.250
And he did so much for
me throughout our life.

01:12:18.333 --> 01:12:21.000
I loved her. I adored her.

01:12:21.208 --> 01:12:22.792
[Bystander] How do you feel?

01:12:28.083 --> 01:12:29.583
Emotional?

01:12:44.833 --> 01:12:47.417
[Peter] There's always been a way
of remembering things.

01:12:49.833 --> 01:12:52.208
Before video existed, it was photography.

01:12:53.458 --> 01:12:56.583
Before photographs exist,
it was oral history.

01:12:57.625 --> 01:13:01.666
And the more that you talk about people,
the more that you have these conversations,

01:13:02.041 --> 01:13:04.500
the more that person survives.

01:13:06.083 --> 01:13:09.166
It lives on in her siblings.

01:13:09.375 --> 01:13:12.000
It lives on in my dad and my brother.

01:13:12.250 --> 01:13:14.625
They're collective memories.

01:13:15.791 --> 01:13:19.666
So no matter how much she can
destroy them, they can’t be destroyed.

01:13:40.666 --> 01:13:42.666
[Matt] Now, nearly there.

01:13:43.791 --> 01:13:47.041
One across. “Deep affection.” Four letters.

01:13:49.666 --> 01:13:52.166
You have it for me. What is it?

01:13:54.083 --> 01:13:57.125
-Starts with L.
-[Helena laughs]

01:13:58.500 --> 01:14:02.708
Well, what affection do you have for me?

01:14:02.875 --> 01:14:04.208
What do you call it?

01:14:04.583 --> 01:14:06.333
-Love.
-Yep.

01:14:09.208 --> 01:14:12.958
Now, we were on the
right track, weren't we?