Distributor:  Scorpion TV
Length:  59 minutes
Date:  2012
Genre:  Expository
Language:  English
Color/BW:  Color
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Erasing Hate

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A remarkable story of transformation and redemption, Erasing Hate tells the journey of Bryon Widner out of the world of race hatred. The painful process of removing his extensive white power tatoos is just the outward sign of his inner transformation.

Erasing Hate

For 16 years, Bryon Widner was a racist skinhead. In skinhead circles he was known as a heavy drinker and a pit bull - the enforcer who was quick to violence. And while many skinheads are known for brandishing tattoos, Bryon's appearance was especially menacing. Among his multitude of facial tattoos was an image of blood dripping from a straight edge razor (Bryan's weapon of choice). But most prominent on his face was a giant arrow extending below and above his eye. The tattoo signifies the willingness to kill for the white race.

Bryon met Julie at Nordicfest 2006, a white power music festival. They soon married and Bryan became an instant father to Julie's four children. Part of what drew Bryon and Julie together was a common bond - both were becoming disenchanted with what they saw as hypocrisy in the white power movement. Julie soon gave birth to Bryon's first biological child, a son named Tyrson.

Bryon quickly realized he couldn't raise his son around the white power movement. He slowly withdrew from his skinhead mates. Family became his priority. Finally Bryon was presented an ultimatum by his skinhead gang - us or them. Bryon chose his family. But escaping the white power movement was not easy. Bryon and Julie faced death threats and constant harassment. Bryon and Julie packed up the family and fled from Michigan to Tennessee to start a new life. But it wasn't easy.

Bryon remained haunted by the cruelty he had shown to others. His tattoos were a constant reminder of his brutal past. And Bryon's heavily inked face and neck made it nearly impossible to find work and support his family.

With financial support from the Southern Poverty Law Center, in early 2009 Bryon began the long and grueling laser tattoo removal process at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. After every treatment, Bryon's face blistered and swelled. Producers of Erasing Hate followed Bryon and Julie and family for two years, throughout the entire tattoo removal process.

The spine of the film centers on the tattoo removal procedures. Each treatment shows the extreme suffering Bryon endured, and can be seen almost as his penance for a hate filled past. Interweaved is Bryon's back story. We reveal Bryon's journey from a disenfranchised runaway teenager, to a violent skinhead, to the reasons that inspired him to escape the white power movement.

No reviews available.

Awards

The 2012 Hope and Freedom Film Festival (Long Beach, CA) – Festival winner, Best Film

The 2012 Nashville Film Festival (TN)

The 2012 Heartland Film Festival (IN)

The 2012 United Film Festival (Los Angeles)

The 2012 Thin Line Film Festival (TX)

The 2012 Hearts and Minds Film Festival (PA)

The 2012 United Film Festival (Los Angeles)

The 2011 Vegas Independent Film Festival (NV)

 10;00;00

FADE UP on a montage of shots portraying a typical, although poor, American family.

SCENES ARE INTERCUT WITH TITLE CREDITS
Music & SFX
Various audio of sounds coming from inside the house - kids playing, etc.

Graphics

MSNBC FILMS LOGO (WITH SUPPLIED MUSIC)

A BILL BRUMMEL PRODUCTIONS DOCUMENTARY

DIRECTORS OF PHOTOGRAPHY
KEVIN O'BRIEN
JOHN RHODE

EDITED BY
DAN WOLFMEYER

10;00;34
PRODUCED AND WRITTEN BY
BILL BRUMMEL

DIRECTED BY
BILL BRUMMEL
Music & SFX
Various audio of sounds coming from inside the house - kids playing, etc.

10;00;46
CUT TO Bryon at mirror
BRYON
I started getting tattoos when I was about 14 - 15 years old. This arrow is Tiwaz or tears rune in the Norse religion. What it actually signifies is the rune of justice, or the rune of the warrior. Within most white power skinheads, within that subculture it is a sign of the warrior. But it also represents the willingness to kill for your race.

Q: So you were willing to do that?

10;01;04
BRYON
Yes, I was willing to kill for the white race. I put on my face to signify that to those who understood what it meant, basically. And those who didn't understand, well they would learn soon enough. That was kind of the philosophy. I resigned myself to either prison or an early grave.

10;01;22
TITLE: ERASING HATE
Music
10;01;33
BRYON WIDNER FIRST BECAME A RACIST SKINHEAD AT THE AGE OF FOURTEEN IN 1990. OVER THE NEXT SIXTEEN YEARS HE WAS A MEMBER OF SEVERAL NOTORIOUS NEO NAZI SKINHEAD ORGANIZATIONS, SUCH AS THE OUTLAW HAMMERSKINS, BLOOD AND HONOUR AND THE VINLANDER SOCIAL CLUB.

10;02;12
LOWER THIRD
Bryon Widner
BRYON
My racial philosophy was we were the master race. White people were meant to rule the world. We created society. We created economics. We created everything. We were meant to rule. And therefore it was our God given right to stand up and take what was ours. The white race was dying. It was getting bred out. So we needed to -- we needed to go to extreme measures to save our people.

10;02;17
Q: And, what did you consider extreme?

BRYON: Um, at the time, murder was an extreme. I mean, but, you know, it was kind of just one of those things that could happen. But now, hindsight, it was, you know, drive by's, things like that would be very extreme.

CUT TO SPLC
10;02;34
JOE ROY
We track a lot of the extremist organizations out there as they come across our desk. And, uh, of course the skinhead movement is one of the most violent. And we first saw Bryon pop up on our radar when he was involved in a lot of skinhead activities, going to functions, showing up in different intelligence photos that we were collecting.

1002;52
LOWER THIRD
Joe Roy
Chief Investigator, Southern Poverty Law Center JOE ROY
He was kind of the pit bull of the movement. He was, uh, an in your face type guy. He was, uh, loved to drink a beer. Uh, was very confrontational, and had a reputation of, uh, being an enforcer type, uh, personality.

10;03;04
BRYON
I got the hate tattooed across my knuckles when I was about 15. I always liked the word hate. I thought it was real cool at the time.
BRYON
I was about 17 or 18 when I started getting swastikas and iron crosses, all that stuff on me. I really was embracing the whole Nazi Skinhead thing at that time.

10;03;21
BRYON
The SS bolts, well, they kind of speak for themselves. You can't be a Nazi without a pair of SS bolts on you. Back in the day, in the late '80s and early '90s, you were required to actually earn your bolts, quote, unquote. And what you had to do was actually attack a minority one on one and beat 'em down. So I earned mine years ago.

10;03;49
LOWER THIRD
Julie Widner JULIE
When he got the tattoos done, he didn't expect to have a family. And he came into our household into our lives and became the father. Became a husband. And so he didn't know when he got them put on that he would end up in this position.

10;0356 SADIE: Did you scream?

JULIE: No.

BRYON: She's still complaining about it.

[Laughter]

ISABELLA: Last time. . .

10;04;02
BRYON
This is the Vinlanders SC which stands Social Club. It's a Neo-Nazi organization of a bunch of skinheads. I was the founding father of that club.

10;04;09
BRYON
I got “Thug Reich” tattooed on my belly. The reason why I got it was we were thugs. The Reich was for the Third Reich, the whole Nazi aspect. So I just kind of combined the two and came up with that. It almost became a motto for a lot of guys.

10;04;27
LOWER THIRD
Mercedes
Bryon's step-daughter SADIE
I don't even see the tattoos anymore. I'm used to them cause I got to know who he is and like instead of like just being someone on the streets and seeing him and they judge him and everything. I see him for who he is.

10;04;36
BRYON
Blood and Honor was an organization that was created by the late Ian Stewart Donaldson, the lead singer of Screwdriver.

10;04;41
SOT
Ian Stuart Donaldson (singing):
WHITE POWER!
WHITE POWER!
WHITE POWER!

10;04;45
BRYON
It was a skinhead organization in the late '70s, early '80s. and in the '90s, it split in two different factions, Blood and Honor International and Blood and Honor Combat 18. The Blood and Honor I belonged to was Combat 18 or C18. The 18 stands for uh, 1 and 8 for the letter A and the letter H for Adolf Hitler.

10;05;02
(Laughter)

(Unintelligible conversation)

JULIE: Is that good?

10;05;07
BRYON
When I saw Tyrsen born, I -- I mean, I saw God that day. That was one of the strangest, greatest feelings that I'll probably never feel again, you know, is the first time you ever hold a baby, that kind of love is just -- it's amazing. It's truly amazing and it's really hard to put it into words. I mean he's every breath I take is for him. I mean I just want to do everything for him, give him everything I never had, you know.

10;05;34

10;05;48
BRYON
 I used to carry a straight razor. And I'd, I'd use it to- in bar fights and whatnot. It was a- I kind of put it on my face as more- as a trademark and also a warning to people -just basically leave me the fuck alone or I'll cut you. So.

Q : And um, how is carrying a straight razor different than some of your other crew members?

BRYON: Um, a lot of them carry brass knuckles or pistols, things like that. I- I, you know, I like pistols just as much as the next guy, but my, I just always- I like the up-close and personal battles. I always thought those were a lot more fun than you know, sitting across the street and shooting at people. So straight razor was just kind of my weapon of choice. Plus - a razor cut goes a lot deeper than, you know, just a regular stab usually. You can get some good meat on it.

10;06;20
BRYON
If I started getting into a situation I couldn't handle with just my fists and my feet, I would pull it out like, yeah, in a bar fight if, you know, three, four guys decide to jump in on me, I'd pull it out and lay a couple people open. And then all of them wouldn't jump on me. It was a pretty good deterrent at that point. Or if I wanted to teach somebody a lesson that they couldn't forget if they ever wanted to, I would pull it out, cut them.

10;06;45
Q: What do you think now of all these tattoos on your face?

BRYON: They drive me nuts. It's just a bad reminder of a, of a part of my life that I left behind.

DIP TO BLACK

10;06;58
BRYON WIDNER GREW UP IN ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO.

10;07;03
BRYON
When I was about three years old I moved in with my grandparents along with my little sister. My grandmother was a severe alcoholic.
BRYON
I was told that I was pretty well worthless. I wouldn't ever amount to anything. This or that.

10;07;19
BRYON
By the age of thirteen, fourteen, I just started running away all the time. I became a chronic runaway at that point. Just started living on the streets.

10;07;26
AT THE AGE OF EIGHTEEN, BRYON JOINED HIS FIRST WHITE POWER SKINHEAD GROUP - THE SOLDIERS OF THE NEW REICH.

10;07;34
BRYON
When I was a teenager, I didn't have any family. I had my friends. That's all I had. And, basically my crews were my family
BRYON
I mean statistically speaking gang members don't join gangs because it's cool. They join gangs because usually they're street kids. They're destitute. And they have nothing.
10;07;50
AS BRYON'S APPETITE FOR VIOLENCE INCREASED, HE MOVED TO INDIANA AND ENLISTED IN THE OUTLAW HAMMERSKINS, A CREW STARTED BY HARD CORE SKINHEADS WHO HAD BEEN KICKED OUT OF THE NATIONAL UMBRELLA GROUP, HAMMERSKIN NATION.

10;08;07
BRYON
Hammer Skins had such a reputation that they demanded respect. They demanded fear. I mean if a Hammer Skin came to a party, you knew it. And everybody, you know, tread-- treaded very lightly around them. They were known for being incredibly violent and incredibly tough. So everybody was very weary around Hammer Skins for the most part. And everybody wanted to join.

10;08;27
BRYON
I was what they call a pit bull, they'd point and I'd sick 'em. If somebody was you know, fucking with one of our guys at a bar or something, they'd just kind of point me in the direction and I'd go fuck them up, basically.

10;08;38
BRYON
We were a very extreme group. And we were really hardcore. We put it out there on the Internet don't screw with us. We will kill you. And that's how we lived our philosophy, "We will kill you."

10;08;48
BRYON
Extreme violence is a great way to make a name for yourself in the skinhead subculture. Skinheads embrace violence. That's their bread and butter. That's what they love. That's what they do.

10;08;59
BRYON
Every time we drove around, we had guns, ball bats and knives in our cars. It could be, um, you know, you'd see a black guy and a white girl walking down the road. And we, you know, we'd just pull a block away from them. And, get out and rush them. Have two go around the block. Just come up behind them so they can't escape. So, they'd get sandwiched in and usually demolished pretty good.

10;09;20
Q: How long would this usually take this?

BRYON: A beat down? Usually just couple seconds. I mean a real long one would be like ten, fifteen seconds.

Q: It's really a hit and run.

BRYON: Oh yeah, yeah. And then, we got out of there and we went and celebrated because we did a great thing. It was a good time. Causing people pain was fun to us.

10;09;44
DISSOLVE TO Bryon and Julie at house talking with children. BRYON: Well, I went to the doctor yesterday and talked to him about getting my facial tattoos taken off, the ones on my neck.

SADIE: What'd they say?

BRYON: Um, well, they can come off. That's going to be a good thing. He's uh, going to do laser surgery on the 22nd. It's going to probably be very painful.

10;09;59
SADIE: Will you get a scar on your face and your head?

BRYON: I might. The possibility of scarring is there, but chances are pretty, pretty little.

SADIE: That's good.

ISABELLA: How you going to get 'em off?

BRYON: With a laser. He's going to burn them off my skin basically.

SADIE: That's intense.

10;10;16
JULIE: You're worried about daddy getting his tattoos removed?

BELLA: Yes.

JULIE: Afraid you won't recognize daddy?

BELLA: I wouldn't recognize him. His face would be different.

10;10;27
JULIE: Yeah, daddy's handsome, though. He'll look great without them. He looks great with them, but it'd be great without them, too.

10;10;35
Lower third
DESTINY
BRYON'S STEP-DAUGHTER DESTINY: I think it might be a little painful for the healing, but I think he'll like, I think he'll enjoy it and stuff.

[LAUGHTER]

BRYON: I love the pain.

BELLA: He'll be enjoying the pain?

SADIE: The outcome.

10;10;51
BRYON: What do you think?

JULIE: What do you think when daddy gets his tattoos removed? What do you think?

Tyrsen: Lolololol.

[LAUGHTER)

BRYON: All right.

DIP TO BLACK

10;11;05
FADE UP
JULIE
Racism just seemed normal when I was younger. I'm talking three, four, five years old. I still remember hearing my dad say the "N"-word .

10;11;17
AFTER JULIE'S PARENT'S DIVORCED, SHE BOUNCED BETWEEN HER MOTHER'S HOME IN ARIZONA, AND HER FATHER'S IN DETROIT.

10;11;33
LOWER THIRD
Ed
Julie's father
ED MILLER
I had a very bad case of racism in me. Of course I tried not to show my racism to my children. But if they hung around me very long they'd know it. Because I was a racist.

10;11;41
JULIE
As a child, we were taught that the minorities, blacks, were like a germ. You didn't go where they went. You didn't sit where they sat. We were better than them. That was normal. The only way to describe it is that the blacks, the minorities, were like a cockroach. They were like second-class citizens.

10;12;04
JULIE
I got started in the movement by my former husband. He had been in prison for four years, and learned about the movement through the prison system.

10;12;13
AT AGE TWENTY NINE JULIE JOINED THE NATIONAL ALLIANCE.

10;12;18
JOE ROY
The National Alliance is a neo-Nazi movement. And this particular organization is not the kind that goes around wearing swastikas and brown shirts. You know, they were looking for a more subtle member. Uh, because they felt like if their members were in the system they could make more changes.

10;12;32
JULIE
We would take propaganda and distribute the flyers on people's doors and do these flyer runs to get media attention, and try to recruit. War of the pen, I guess.

10;12;47
AFTER 16 YEARS IN THE MOVEMENT, BRYON, ALONG WITH HIS WIFE JULIE, BECAME DISILLUSIONED. DESPITE REPEATED DEATH THREATS, THEY GOT OUT.

10;12;59
JOE ROY
You have to understand, this is a culture that in their minds they believe death before dishonor. And to them dishonor is when somebody leaves the movement. So almost always the initial reaction is one of threats, one of, uh, potential assaults.

10;13;13
BRYON AND JULIE PACKED UP THEIR FAMILY, LEFT THEIR MICHIGAN HOME, AND MOVED TO TENNESSEE TO BE CLOSE TO JULIE'S FATHER. BUT STARTING ANEW HASN'T BEEN EASY.

10;13;25
BRYON
I mean when I was a skinhead I really didn't care about work, you know, I was... The only thing I cared about was getting in fights and getting drunk. When you have a family to support it's a completely different ballgame.

10;13;34
BRYON
Usually it just boils down to, they're gonna make excuses on why they don't have to hire me, as opposed to just saying, well we don't like the way you look. No one wants a circus freak next to 'em getting a paycheck, I guess.

10;13;43
JULIE
Well I feel like I'm going through it with him, because I try to help him find jobs looking online and the newspaper, and then when he comes back from job-hunting it's usually a very sobering experience for him. He gets, uh, depressed and so I have to be the up-lifter. Cheer him up and encourage him.

10;14;03
BRYON
I know exactly what it's like to be a black man and have, uh, being discriminated against because of the way you look. I completely identify with them now.

10;14;13
BROKE AND WITHOUT A JOB, BRYON HAD LITTLE HOPE OF ERASING HIS RACIST TATTOOS. ENTER AN UNLIKELY ALLY. THE SOUTHERN POVERTY LAW CENTER, OR SPLC, IS A NON PROFIT CIVIL RIGHTS ORGANIZATION THAT TRACKS EXTREMIST GROUPS AND FIGHTS THEM IN COURT.

10;14;33
JOE ROY
Bryon contacted us because we had published an article about the Vinlander social club, which was an organization that he was involved in.

10;14;41
SPLC INVESTIGATORS JOE ROY AND LAURIE WOOD ASKED TO MEET WITH BRYON AND JULIE.
JOE: Hey, do you remember at Nordic Fest. . .

10;14;50
JOE
I've seen a lot of people that, uh, want to come out of the movement and just can't. Underneath all that ink was a family struggling to get out, to get back into society, for themselves and for their children.

10;15;01
BRYON:
When we first met them we were talking obviously about my facial tattoos, cause that always comes up in conversations. And I was actually looking on Ebay at the time for a dermal acid to burn them off my skin.

10;15;12
JOE:
When we first heard about that I was terrified that, uh, they would even consider that.

10;15;16; THE SOUTHERN POVERTY LAW CENTER OFFERED TO COVER THE COST OF BRYON'S TATTOO REMOVAL PROCEDURES.

10;15;23
BRYON
If I could prevent one other kid from making the same mistakes I did, if I can prevent one other family from having to go through the same -- the same crap that I put my family through, maybe I can redeem myself and maybe it'll be worth it.

DIP TO BLACK

10;15;42
LOWER THIRD
Dr. Bruce Shack
Vanderbilt University Medical Center
DR SHACK
The difficulty with, uh, BRYON, is the number of 'em. I mean it's just, you know, he's got so many. So the biggest challenge with him will be just the very large area of the surface of skin that we're gonna have to treat.

10;15;53
DR. BRUCE SHACK ELECTS TO TREAT BRYON'S TATTOOS IN A STAGED FASHION, WORKING ON SEGMENTS OF HIS FACE AND NECK IN A ROTATING MANNER. HE ANTICIPATES THE ENTIRE PROCESS WILL REQUIRE EIGHT TO TWELVE SESSIONS.

10;16;07
DR SHACK: I'm just going to give you a little touch test here, Bryon.

BRYON: Ow.

DR SHACK: That hurt?

BRYON: Ooh, yeah.
DR SHACK: We need to, uh -- we need to numb him up then, okay? You wouldn't want a lot of that, then.

BRYON: No. Not at all. That really hurt.

10;16;20
DR SHACK: All right. I'm going to give you some numbing medicine.

MICHELLE: Good response though.

BRYON: [GROANS]

DR SHACK: I'm sorry.

MICHELLE: Only hurt for a minute.

DR SHACK: This, this part will sting for a few seconds but then it'll get numb.

10;16;34
DR. SHACK
Unfortunately, for something like this with these randomly placed tattoos, it's hard to do a single shot and get it done. You've got so much.  And it's not the little needs sticks that hurt so much. This local anesthetic has a pH that's a little bit acidic. So it stings when it goes in.  But during that process, especially when you're having to treat a large area, every little shot -- you feel that sting. So it's not a pleasant process.
10;16;55
BRYON: [MOANS IN PAIN]

MICHELLE: Take some slow deep breaths

DR SHACK: I know it. I know it.

MICHELLE: Breathe in and out. Won't be much longer.

DR SHACK: Nice and easy. This is another tender place here. OK. I know that's tough. That's tough duty.

10;17;11
BRYON: I used to tell people that all the time in a tattoo shop, that they were being sissies.

DR SHACK: I know. Well, I mean the -- the coming off is frequently more painful than the going on, unfortunately.

10;17;22
BRYON RECEIVES APPROXIMATELY THIRTY INJECTIONS, ON JUST ONE SIDE OF HIS FACE.

10;17;29
BRYON: [GROANS]

DR SHACK: I know that's bad.

BRYON: We still got to do the nose.

DR SHACK: Yeah. I was kind of saving that for last. I wasn't going to bring it up until you did.

BRYON: [LAUGHS]

10;17;41
DR SHACK: I'm just going to start on this upper part of the nose where it'll be a little bit less sensitive. You remember how this tattoo felt going on, I'll bet.
BRYON: Mm-hmm.

DR SHACK: Almost done.

10;17;53
BRYON: [GRUNTS IN PAIN]

DR SHACK: I'm sorry buddy. Almost done.

10;17;59
BRYON: [GRUNTS IN PAIN]

DR SHACK: That's it. That's it. Aw, man.

BRYON: [GRUNTS IN PAIN]

DR SHACK: That's it, though. Just hold some pressure there.

10;18;10
DR SHACK: Now, we're going to wait a minute, okay? Let you catch your breath. That's the horrible part.

CUT TO WAITING ROOM
10;18;18
JULIE
I want to be in there, it's driving me nuts. I'm always there through his surgeries, through everything. It's just kind of strange. 'Cause there's, I mean it's pointless, you know for me to do anything, but I can at least hold his hand like I usually do. But I don't think I'd be able to do that, I'd have to be in the other room anyhow.

10;18;37
SOT Nordic Fest
MAN ON STAGE AND CROWD: SIEG HEIL! SIEG HEIL! SIEG HEIL!

10;18;40
BRYON
I met Julie at Nordic Fest 2005. It was a white power concert out in Kentucky.

10;18;45
SOT Nordic Fest
MAN ON STAGE AND CROWD: WHITE POWER! WHITE POWER!

10;18;48
BRYON
You go out there and you camp and listen to, you know, few bands play and drink beer basically all weekend. And, uh, she was out there with the kids.

10;18;55
BELLA: The reason that my mommy and my daddy got married is because of me.

Q: Why is that?

BELLA: Because I wanted a picture with them.

10;19;04
JULIE: She was probably about two, three, almost three years old. And she went up to him, and she was up at his leg, tried to pull on his leg and wanted a picture with him, and...

SADIE: I remember that.

JULIE: So I asked him, do you mind if she takes a picture with him, and she got her picture with him. And that's how- that's how me and daddy met, huh? Yep.

10;19;23
BRYON
I got a picture with her and then I -- I chatted with Julie a little bit. She was just really cool. And I just thought wow she's just a really cool chick, and we really didn't talk a whole lot at Nordic Fest. We, we started talking a couple months later actually, over the phone.

10;19;38
JULIE
We'd have all these conversations late at night on what we wanted in life. How we both wanted a family. Um, you know, how our childhoods were.

10;19;45
BRYON:
She was easy to talk to. I -- I always liked hearing her stories. I mean it was just -- there was just something about her.

10;19;51
JULIE
I think a lot of times even though we just talked on the phone, sometimes it's easier to get to know somebody cause they're not afraid of, um, you judging them.

10;20;00
BRYON
One night after I got home from the bar. I got in a bar fight and I was pissy, and I was about half drunk and I just called her up and proposed. I was like, you know, I'm -- just fuck it. I want to raise a family now. I'm done with this. I called her up and proposed and she accepted because she's crazy.

10;20;19
JULIE
We just got married at the justice of the peace. Yeah I did become engaged to somebody I'd only met in person once and talked on the phone for a couple months was pretty crazy.

CUT BACK TO HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM BRYON
I love my wife. My wife is my rock. She was a gift from God. That's all there really is to that. She saved my life.

10;20;36
DR SHACK: Everybody goggled up that's goggling up? Try this again okay? That better?

BRYON: Much.

10;20;42
DR SHACK
We start with what we know will be a safe dose. We watch for the response. We don't wanna see any bleeding, we wanna just see that little white frosting on the surface of the skin.

10;20;55
DR SHACK: We're getting a really good response here, though, Bryon.
BRYON: Good, good.

DR SHACK: Some of these areas, you can tell that the ink's a little deeper

BRYON: Mm-hmm.

10;21;03
Bryon: [GROANS]

DR SHACK: Uh-oh. Like I said, you may feel an occasional twinge where you just have a little spot that didn't quite get numb. That popping sound you hear is the exploding of that pigment as it breaks it up into smaller granules.

10;21;22
DR SHACK: Okay onto the big arrow now.

BRYON: How long's the numbing going to last for?

DR SHACK: It'll last for a couple of hours.
BRYON: Okay.

DR SHACK: And then you'll start to feel this burning as it begins to wear off.

10;21;37
BRYON: [GROANS]

DR SHACK: Sorry. That hurt?

BRYON: Oh yeah. We're good. [GROANS]

DR SHACK: Let's get out of that spot.

10;21;48
BRYON: [GROANS]

DR SHACK: I'm sorry Bryon.

MICHELLE: Almost done.

10;22;09
DR SHACK. We're almost done. Turn your head toward me just a little bit for me Bryon.

DR SHACK: I think that's got it. Okay, you did great buddy. For a first round, that was tough. I know. But you did great, all right?

BRYON: Thank you.

DR SHACK: You're welcome my friend.

DIP TO BLACK

10;22;23
GRAPHIC - DAY AFTER 1st TREATMENT

10;22;29
BRYON
The first couple hours after surgery I was still numb so that was nice. But, after the Novocain or whatever they used wore off it felt like somebody took a, uh, propane torch to my face.

10;22;40
JULIE
It was pretty scary. Woke up in the middle of the night and he was in a lotta pain. And, um, didn't expect the swelling. So. Yeah, he looks like he's pretty miserable.

10;22;55
BRYON
The doctor said it would feel like the worst sunburn I've ever felt in my life. Right now it feels like I got my head stomped in with a boot. Really no burning sensation at all, it's just all the swelling just really, really hurts. I mean obviously it looks like I've been clubbed. So, that's about how it feels right now.

10;23;14
JULIE: Let me see your face. It's way more swollen.

BRYON: I know, it's progressively swelling more.

JULIE: Take off your glasses.

BRYON: You keep tellin' me to do that...

JULIE: Well because it looks like...

BRYON: I have no depth perception.

10;23;24
JULIE: It looks like it's, oh my God.

BRYON: It's just the area on the face, especially around the eye is so sensitive.

JULIE: Was it like that after you got tattooed?

BRYON: Oh yeah. I mean it wasn't this bad.

JULIE: Right.

10;23;31
BRYON: But I mean I, when I got tattoos around my eyes I ended up with a shiner.

BRYON: It's almost tempting to take a piercing and lance it just to get that pressure out of there. That might just add more bad than good.

JULIE: Tyrsen, nice. Look at daddy's owies, looks at daddy's owies.

BRYON: Daddy got owies.

TYRSEN: Whhheeee. (Other sounds)

BRYON: Daddy got owies. Owie.

10;23;53
JULIE
Hopefully the ice packs will make it, uh, go down but yeah it's not discouraging him. He said it's all part of the process.

10;23;59
 JULIE
Don't like to see him in pain, but, everything has a price.

DIP TO BLACK

10;24'06
GRAPHIC
ONE WEEK AFTER 1ST TREATMENT
SHORTLY BEFORE HIS SECOND TREATMENT, BRYON IS VISITED BY HIS OLD FRIEND ERIC MEIRING. IT'S THE FIRST TIME SINCE LEAVING THE SKINHEADS, THAT BRYON HAS SEEN ONE OF HIS FORMER MATES.

10;24;25
BRYON
The first couple nights when we were together, yeah we reminisced quite a bit cause we hadn't seen each other in over five years. So there was a lot of emotion flowing between the two of us, the whole “bromance” thing going on, you know, after the first couple days it was just business as usual.

10;24;46

10;24;56
ERIC: We're trying to get rid of some of the old racialist tattoos and some of the old, like, gang, thuggery style tattoos and stuff like that. Kind of brighten his image.

BRYON: Just because I'm getting them off my face doesn't mean I hate tattoos. I still like getting them. Um, like on the arms and chest and back and things like that is still socially acceptable.

10;25;12
LOWER THIRD
ERIC MEIRING
FORMER SKINHEAD ERIC: We've been planning on meeting up with each other since like about six months ago. I was kind of leery at first. I thought he was still with the club and was kind of like a set up thing or something, you know.

10;25;15
ERIC: Set up to get beat up, murdered, and whatever, you know. I was pretty not popular in that club circle for a while.
BRYON: Always suspicious of, uh, those we used to hang out with. I mean it's, uh…

ERIC: We know what they're capable of. Put it that way.

10;25;34
BRYON: We, uh, actually met back when I was about fourteen or fifteen at a, uh, Klan rally out in Denver, Colorado.

ERIC: Martin Luther King Junior Day rally.
ERIC: We were actually singing the praises of James Earl Ray.

ERIC: Yeah, we used to joke about how it was called James Earl Ray day, not Martin Luther King Junior Day.

BRYON: Yeah.

10;25;53
ERIC
I got out in about like two thousand four. Right around there. I had a little bit of a drug problem. And some people in the higher ups had it out for me and stuff. So, uh, I was asleep on a friend of mine's couch and I got pistol whipped almost to death. And, uh, actually, those guys were going to kill me. And he kind of told them not to. So, I kind of owe my life to this guy.

10;26;17
BRYON
One of the guys in the club had it out for Eric real bad, we had a meeting and the same gentleman, uh, was talking at the meeting about trying to put a hit out on Eric. And, uh, I was one of the two people that stood up and said no just because, you know -- it's – it was -- it was -- it was enough that Eric was pretty well at that time black balled and we felt that was enough than, you know, than to kill him for -- for some dumb shit.

10;26;44
BRYON
I can understand if Eric went off and killed this dude's son or something like that, you know. But, because he had a drug problem, that's why this other guy wanted to put a hit on Eric. And that was the only reason he could give.

10;26;56
BRYON: Hi. Oh, you're just going to come hang out, huh?

TYRSEN: Hi daddy.
BRYON: Hi, buddy. Oh, son.

ERIC: You got a loaded diaper over there, son?

BRYON: No, he's just being a ham.

TYRSEN: Ah. Poo-poo.

10;27;22
BRYON: Did you poo-poo?

TYRSEN: Yeah.

BRYON: Go tell mama.

ERIC: I thought he did. I smelled it. I was like, who shit.

BRYON: Go tell mama. Yes, I love you. Go tell mama.

DIP TO BLACK

10;27;42
GRAPHIC
DAY AFTER 2ND TREATMENT

10;27;45
BRYON: The night was pretty rough. I ended up waking up, about… 2, 2:30, something like that. And, uh… falling back asleep about 4, and then getting back up at 7.
BRYON: The pain is the worst part. It just, it really… aches really bad, feels like my face is just trying to bust out.

10;28;03
LOWER THIRD
ISABELLA
BRYON'S STEP-DAUGHTER ISABELLA : I just don't like to see my dad like, it looks like he's like crying but he, he's not. I just don't like to see my dad like that. I always ask him if he can see out of that eye and he says not very well cause it's like his eye's all covered up.

10;28;23
JULIE: I'm going to the pharmacy to get his prescription. His pain medicine.
JULIE
The second treatment has been a little bit harder for me to watch him go through, 'cause I know how much pain he was in the first treatment. It hurts to see people you love in pain.

10;28;37
BRYON
It's incredibly painful the next day. I mean the swelling just, it's so much pressure on my face, it just hurts.
BRYON : There was some swelling in the hospital… By the time we got home it was pretty poofed out. By about 10:00 last night my eye was already almost this bad, and it just progressively just keeps getting worse.

10;28;55
JULIE Since Eric's come to visit, they've talked a lot and I think it's brought up a lot of the old wounds from the past. Stuff they did and stuff that he's been trying to forget and I guess forgive himself for some of the stuff he's done.

10;29;08
JULIE So bringing up stuff that he went through and he did and who he was I think has made him really depressed lately.

10;29;22
ERIC: Look at this picture here. This is uh, Bryon when he started to get his face tattooed actually. He's, uh, all mean, mugging and drunked up in that picture.

10;29;34
ERIC: Here's Bryon's patch his old Hammerskin patch which I blacked out. It's right here.

10;29;40
ERIC: And, uh, this picture here is a picture of the night that Bryon was made and, uh, there's myself there. That was the night that I got put on probation and that was the night that he got made.

10;29;50
BRYON: That was the night I took my oath as a Hammerskin which basically, uh, all the other made members stood around in a circle holding torches and the, uh, person who was getting the patch had to go up to the president and he put his hand-- one hand on a patch and another hand on a gun and swore a blood oath basically to everybody within the club that they would be by 'em until their dying day and this and that. And that you would, uh, kill or die for your patch.

10;30;14
ERIC: This is like a defining moment for him and I both like at this point in time, so.

BRYON: That was about fifteen months of hard work payin' off for me.

10;30; 23 ERIC: That was the night that Mark made OS too.

BRYON: Yep.

ERIC: And, uh...

Q: What's OS?

BRYON/ERIC: Official supporter.

ERIC: There's like levels of being, you know, becoming a Hammerskin. You gotta be a hanger-on for, what was it, at least six months.

10;30;35
BRYON: Mm-hm.

ERIC: Then you had to be an official supporter for at least six months.

BRYON:  For Six months.

ERIC: And then you had to probate for at least six months.

BRYON: You had to probate for a year.

10;30;46
ERIC: And here's a picture of the, uh, Indiana Justice. That's, uh...

BRYON: That was on Matt McGrath's forearm.

ERIC: Yeah, that was a pretty notoriously well-known tattoo throughout the white power movement.

10;30;58
ERIC: Uh, this is a noose around his neck here. It's supposed to symbolize a lynching of a black guy.

10;31;09
Q: Sitting back, Looking at all these pictures, kind of reminiscing, what goes through your head when you're doing this?

10;31;15
ERIC: For me it's like, I can't believe what...who I used to be, you know, in comparison and stuff. How much I've changed and everything and just like my whole thoughts about, you know, accepting other people and just... It's hard, really. It's kinda hard. Uh, it's, uh...

10;31;35
Q: Hard in what way?

ERIC: I can't believe that I was that person. You know, that I, that I had that, how do I explain, it's like, that little respect for other human beings. You know, that little respect for other human life. Other than--outside of the people that were in these pictures, I didn't give a shit about any other person that walked on the face of the earth. That was it, you know, that was our family.

10;31;58
JULIE: When you get in the movement, it's almost like you alienate everything you know and everyone you know. It's like, this is your new family and there's nothing else exists. Like he said, there's nobody, nothing else outside of this box and that's it.

10;32;11
JULIE: You come to this thought that, everybody outside of the movement, they just have no clue. They just - - you alienate them, I think it's a gradual thing. You know, uh, it's like, I went from talkin' to my mom to, once a day, to once a week, to once a month. You know. It's, um, it's like a cult almost. You, you just give up everything outside of it because everything that you're learning is right.

10;32;34
JULIE: And nobody else outside of this movement just has any knowledge. Like, everyone, nobody has a clue. You know. So, it's just, it's almost like a cult.

10;32;42
BRYON: I have a hard time forgiving myself 'cause I did a lotta bad shit to earn that piece of ink on my arm, you know, that piece of cloth on my chest. I... It's, it's like opening old wounds. And, I just did so much bad shit to people that didn't deserve it that every time I see these pictures or start thinkin' about it that's, that's what it is. And I can't-- I just... I can't forgive myself. And I was a grown man. I should've known better than to act like a stupid, uh, gang banger.

10;33;10
BRYON: But, -- I try and I try and I try and, I know it says in the bible you gotta forgive yourself 'cause God forgives you, but, you know, I may be forgiven by him but I, I'm havin' a hard time really forgiving myself for all the bad shit that I've done.

10;33;21
ERIC: It's almost nauseating, isn't it?

BRYON: Yeah.

ERIC: Sometimes it's like you look at this and it's like, wow.

BRYON: It's disappointing. It's not even nauseating, it's doesn't make me angry anymore, it makes me disappointed in the decisions that I've made, you know.

10;33;35
BRYON: I don't sleep at night for shit that I did to people, or, you know, I, shit that, that happened to me. I, I don't, I'll -- I'll just lay awake and just think all fucking night long. And, it's, uh, it's hard. It's really hard. And I guess I haven't moved on. I'm trying.

10;33;58
JULIE: You're putting out some serious heat.

BRYON: Sorry.

JULIE: You okay?

BRYON: Mm-hm.

JULIE: Is the stuff wearing off?

BRYON: Mm-hm.

DIP TO BLACK

10;34;08
GRAPHIC - 3RD TREATMENT, 3 WEEKS AFTER START OF TATTOO REMOVAL

10;34;15
IT'S BRYON'S THIRD TREATMENT BUT IT'S THE FIRST ON HIS NECK.

10;34;21
JOSH: I'm gonna start slipping you some cocktails while we…

BRYON: Okay.

JOSH: … get these monitors put on- -

10;34;26
BECAUSE OF BRYON'S NECK SENSITIVITY, THE DECISION IS MADE TO USE GENERAL ANESTHESIA. SINCE HE'LL BE ASLEEP, DR. SHACK DECIDES TO ALSO TREAT ONE SIDE OF BRYON'S FACE.

10;34;39
DR SHACK: Everybody goggled up that's goggling up?
DR SHACK: It's like Will Smith said in Men in Black, “The difference between me and you, I make this look good!"

[LAUGHTER]

DR. SHACK
Here we go.

DIP TO BLACK
10;34;52
FADE UP ON BACKSTORY BRYON
When you run something so hot, eventually it burns out. And that's what we did with the Outlaw Hammerskins. We ran so extreme that we just- everything burnt up.

10;34;59
BRYON
Me and Bryon James and a bunch of the other guys who hung around with the Outlaw Hammerskins basically just got together and decided we were going to start one more crew and make an attempt to taking over the whole white power, skinhead movement.

10;35;08
THEY FORMED THE HOOSIER STATE SKINHEADS

10;35;12
BRYON
My role when we first started was basically to start chapters and then move on. I would pick up a chapter, set up leadership in the area, and then go to another city. And being in the tattoo industry, that was a perfect job for me. I didn't have family. So I just bounced everywhere.

10;35;25
BRYON
Any local skinhead crews, I would find anybody that was worth a fuck in the crews, recruit them, and then run off all their buddies. And that was- that was basically what we did. We were on a mass-recruiting spree so we could take on the Hammerskin Nation.

10;35;38
BRYON WORKED TO SET UP SKINHEAD CREWS IN SEVERAL STATES.

10;35;43
BRYON
It was working out when it was like two, three states. But we had five, six states under our belt. So we decided, you know, screw it. We're just going to go under one- one banner.

10;35;52
THE NEW BANNER BECAME KNOWN AS THE VINLANDER SOCIAL CLUB.

10;35;56
JOE
The Vinlanders pulled in other organizations like the Hoosiers and the Ohio State Skins and, uh, their efforts were to be a little more radical than the Hammerskin nation. In other words, if you bring, uh, a knife, we're going to bring a gun. If you, uh, assault one of my members we're going to kill one of your members. The Vinlanders and the Hammerskins considered themselves at war with each other. There were skirmishes all the time.

10;36;18
AS BRYON MASS RECRUITED, HE SUNK DEEPER INTO THE DEPTHS OF ALCOHOLISM.

10;36;25
BRYON
I was drinking about a 30-pack a day. And if that didn't cut it, I would go with a 30-pack and a bottle of Jack Daniels. I was literally drinking myself to death.
BRYON
I was miserable. I was absolutely miserable. So instead of trying to change it at the time, my out was death. And that's the skinhead philosophy, you know. It's- there the retirement program is either prison or the grave. And I didn't feel like going to prison so that would have been the only alternative.

10;36;49
BROOKE: Easy does it.

JOSH: Bryon, can you hear me? Bryon, you're all done buddy. Open your mouth up wide. We're just going to take you to the wake up room.

BRYON: [WHEEZING]

10;37;03
JOSH: You're all done buddy.

BRYON: [COUGHING]

JOSH: Bryon.

BRYON: [COUGHING]

BROOKE: Try to stay on your back.

JOSH: Bryon. Bryon. You hear me?

BRYON: Yeah.

10;37;13
JOSH: Just relax.

BROOKE: Stay right on your back.

JOSH: Stay on your back.

BROOKE: There you go. There you go. Good job,

BRYON: [WHEEZING]

JOSH: Just putting some medicine on your face, okay?

10;23;21
BROOKE
The young males they can kinda wake up, they're, you know, showin' their strength and stuff and wantin' to kinda like conquer the world. But, that's common. That is common.

10;37;30
 JOSH: I'd say just go ahead and bring a stretcher in. We're just going to take you to the wake up room.

10;37;34
CUT TO WAITING ROOM JULIE
I think he's more concerned about my stress level, you know, than anything else. He just wants me to see him so I know he's okay. 'Cause I'm a mom and I worry. A thousand times more than I should.

10;37;52
LOWER THIRD
Brooke Beck, R.N.
Vanderbilt Cosmetic Surgery Center BROOKE
Well right now, his blood pressure is 179 over 108 so we definitely wanna bring that down to his pre op, what he was.

10;37;58
BRYON: It just hurts so bad, baby.

JULIE: I'm so sorry. Think about BooBoo.

BRYON: I am.

JULIE: Good.

10;38;07
BROOKE: Bryon, is it gettin' any better?

BRYON: No, it hurts like hell.

BROOKE: Zero bein' no pain, ten the worst. It's about a ten?

BRYON: I'm thinkin' eleven.

BROOKE: Okay.

10;38;17
BROOKE
We think it's more pain and kind of just the anesthesia comin' out of him so, too. He's shakin', he's got the, the basic things that we look for, for when people come out of anesthesia. So, we'll bring it down. She's calmin' him a good bit so, if we can get that we'll be, we'll be good to go.

10;38;34
LEZLIE: Okay, Bryon, I'm giving you some more medicine in your IV, okay?

BRYON: Okay.

10;38;37

10:38:45 - LOWER THIRD
Lezlie Fry, R.N.
Vanderbilt Cosmetic Surgery Center LEZLIE
I was a little intimidated by both of them. My first impression of Bryon came from the other nurses. They told me he had a lot of tattoos on his face. They didn't really know exactly what all they meant. But they weren't good. I had never seen anyone with that many tattoos on their face. So it was a little bit of a shock.

10;38;57
BROOKE: All right. I'm gonna let you sign and I'll give you this and we'll let you go.
LEZLIE: Don't sign any legal documents today either, okay
BRYON: Okay.
BROOKE: You've had general anesthesia.
BROOKE: She's in charge of you today.
BRYON: She's in charge every day.
10;39;11
BROOKE: Oh, okay, all right. Well just even more.

JULIE: Can you say that again?

BRYON: I love my wife.

BROOKE: I know. You all are precious.

BRYON: She's the cute one.

JULIE: Nah, you're the cute one.

BROOKE: Y'all are both cute. How about that?

10;39;27
BROOKE
My first impression, you know, seeing Bryon, he's, he's tattooed from head to toe. Um, you know, he looks a little hard. You know, you're kind of like, oh gosh, is he pretty rough, you know? But you know, we've worked with him so much now. And you know, you get to know him, and he's a little softy. He's not as rough around the edges as you think he is and he's a great guy.

FADE TO BLACK

10;39;50
GRAPHIC
TREATMENT 8
6 MONTHS AFTER START OF TATTOO REMOVAL.

10;39;54
DR SHACK
Well, I think he's making steady progress. It hasn't been quite as rapid as I had hoped it was going to be when we started this process several months ago.

10;40;03
NURSE
All right it may burn a little bit in your IV. I know you know that.

10;40;07
DR SHACK
We talked about maybe we can get this done in seven or eight treatments. But it's gonna take more than that, obviously. So this whole process may wind up takin' a year and a half, before we're finished.
10;40;18
FOLLOWING SEVERAL TREATMENTS, THE MEDICAL TEAM ALTERS THEIR APPROACH.

10;40;21  DR SHACK
So now what we're doing, we've done the last couple of times, it's worked very well, we put him to sleep. Once he's asleep, then we give him the local anesthesia.

10;40;29
DR SHACK: Everybody goggled up that's goggling up?

10;40;33
DR SHACK
Then we do the treatment. So when he wakes up, his face is still numb. So the numbing medicine wears off slowly over a few hours and so the pain kind of builds slowly. He can tolerate it much better.

10;40;41  THIS ALSO ALLOWS DR. SHACK TO TREAT BRYON'S ENTIRE FACE AND NECK EVERY VISIT. STILL MUCH OF THE INK LINGERS.

FADE TO BLACK

10;40;54
SOT MAN
We just want to secure the existence of a race and a future for white children.

10;40;59
BRYON
As a skinhead, you try to live by the 14 words.

10;41;06
SOT MAN
It's our children and our children's children. These are our future. This is what we're in this for.

10;41;11
 BRYON
As I was progressing in these crews I noticed that nothing was about the kids. These guys were abusive to their wives. Half of them couldn't hold jobs. They were felons. Um, they would have bastards all over the country. Not pay a dime into child support. And they just, they liked to preach all this higher nobility, but nobody wanted to practice anything.

10;41;34
AT THE NORDIC FEST WHERE THEY MET, JULIE SAYS SHE WITNESSED SKINHEADS AND KLAN MEMBERS HAVING SEX WITH UNDERAGE GIRLS.

10;41;42
JULIE
Actually there was two tents, with girls in there. And, the guys kept going in and takin' turns having sex with them. They were running trains on the girls.
 And, so in my mind, what I thought, “These men do not give a crap about age.” They don't care of, you know, there is no - - you know, she is you know, an Aryan woman. You know, she's - - we must honor her, and, you know, treasure the woman, there's none of that, it's ridiculous. They don't care.

10;42;11
 BRYON
When she told me about it, the thing is I wasn't surprised at all. And at that point, I'd already been a skinhead for about 15, 16 years, nothing was shocking anymore.

10;42;20
JULIE
I myself had a girl that was 14 then. That moment that made me think that that could be my child is- that was probably the moment of the turning point where I started questioning everything that I'd been led to believe all those years.
SFX - Plate Breaking

10;42;37
BRYON
There was plenty of times where, you know, I'd see some of my brothers kick the crap out of their old ladies.
BRYON :
I never looked at beating women and children as a glorious battle. I tried to live by the code of a warrior. And a code of a warrior calls for a glorious battle.

10;42;52
JULIE
I had a really good friend, and she was nine months pregnant, and her boyfriend of 10 years punched her in the eye. And this is the white power movement. And this happens all the time.

10;43;04
BRYON
After awhile shit like that really eats at you. And then you just realize that all these things that you've been telling yourself for years upon years, and other people have been telling you, it's all just bullshit.

10;43;14
JULIE
We were both at the point, where we were just like, you know, whatever, this whole thing is just ridiculous. But, I mean, we weren't really out yet. We were both in there, just kinda hangin' on by a string.

10;43;26
AS BRYON AND JULIE STRUGGLED TO ESCAPE THE SKINHEAD MOVEMENT, THEY SOUGHT THE COUNSEL OF A RIVAL OF SORTS.

10;43;33
SOT
DARYLE: You don't have the right…
MAN: I have the right.
DARYLE: No you do not. Not at the expense of my people. Or my people allowed to…

10;43;40
BRYON
Darryl Lemont Jenkins is a anti-racist who runs the website, "One People's Project."

10;43;47  DARYLE
Julie was, I'm guessing at her wits end, she wanted to talk to somebody.

10;43;54
LOWER THIRD
DARYLE JENKINS
ONE PEOPLE'S PROJECT DARYLE
It's obvious that they're going through something; they're asking for my help so; okay you got it. You got it, I mean, I think of you of you as human first, I don't think of you as an adversary.

10;44;03
BRYON'S FIRST CONVERSATION WITH DARYLE LASTED MORE THAN THREE HOURS.

10;44;09
BRYON
He was educated. He knew what the hell he was talking about. We liked a lot of the same shit. He was the son of a preacher and he was in the punk rock movement out in New York.

10;44;16
DARYLE
Our conversation was about the scene about the music scene.
DARYLE
We was able to uh, get together on this kind of like this common bond that we had with each other to begin with and you know, just became something else as we went along.

10;44;31
BRYON
And the more I talked to him the more I actually realized I actually had more in common with him than some of the guys I buddied up with for close to 20 years, you know. He was such a great and caring guy. But that really changed me in a lot of ways.

DIP TO BLACK

FADE UP ON HOSPITAL EXTERIOR

10;44;45
GRAPHIC:
TREATMENT 14
10 MONTHS AFTER START OF TATTOO REMOVAL

10;4451 LEZLIE: Hey Good morning!

LEZLIE: Now what about your hands?

BRYON: What about em?

LEZLIE: Do you want him to get this?

BRYON: Yeah. Absolutely, absolutely.

LEZLIE: We'll do that today

BRYON: Okay.

10;45;03
JULIE
I gave up on asking him to get his hands done because I figure he's going through enough with his face, so I said, Okay, fine, I'll just shut up about it. And that tactic paid off. [LAUGHS] Because now he says he wants to get his hands done.

10;45;20
BRYON
This is the first tattoo I got. I got no use for it anymore.

10;45;24
DR SHACK: Everybody goggled up that's goggling up... Look at that response we get with this, amazing.

10;45;36
BRYON
If I'm going this far to get all this taken off you know getting the hands would be the next logical step. That way I could actually wear a long-sleeve and blend in the best to my ability.

10;45;45
JULIE
Even though, I mean, it's something he had as a teenager, rebellion, it's something here as an adult and as a father we go up to the school puts his hand on the counter, goes to shake someone's hand, that's all they see is hate, so for him to make that decision finally has been awesome. I'm pretty excited.

10;46;02
CUT TO RECOVERY ROOM LEZLIE: Are you cold?

BRYON: It hurts.

LEZLIE: It hurts?

BRYON: It hurts.

10;46;08
JOSH: His hands are bothering him more than…

LEZLIE: Is it your hands?

BRYON: Yeah.

LEZLIE: Let's get his pressure.

LEZLIE: …on that side.

JOSH: [UNINTELLIGIBLE]

LEZLIE: We treated his hands.

BRYON: [GROANS] Where's Julie?

LEZLIE: I'm gonna go get her.

10;46;20
LEZLIE: OK Bryon, scale of 1 to 10. Is it excruciating?

BRYON: It fuckin' hurts.

LEZLIE More so than usual. Yes.

BRYON: [GROANS]

10;46;44
LEZLIE
Julie and I connected at the beginning. Because she supports Bryon a hundred percent. And I respect that from her. And it makes me feel good to be around family members that support their spouse and support their families a hundred percent.

10;47;05
LEZLIE: I'm going to get one more pressure and then you can get dressed. You are juicy today Bryon.

BRYON: Yey.

10;47;18
GRAPHIC
2 DAYS AFTER HAND TREATMENT
BRYON
The post-treatment of the hands, they swell up really bad like boxing gloves. The swelling throbs and kills. Um, the worst part about it is you don't realize how much you use your hands for everything in the world until you can't use the, the pain sucks but it's the frustration that really gets me.

DIP TO BLACK

10;47;40
AFTER THEY MARRIED, BRYON AND JULIE'S DISENCHANTMENT WITH THE WHITE POWER MOVEMENT GREW.

10;47;46
BRYON
I was apathetic, and I just didn't give a damn anymore. I didn't give a shit about white people, black people, Jewish people, I didn't give a shit about anybody. And it kind of dawned on me that it wasn't that I hated everybody else, I just hated myself.

10;47;58
THEN JULIE BECAME PREGNANT. IT WOULD BE BRYON'S FIRST BIOLOGICAL CHILD.

10;48;06
BRYON
When we found out we were pregnant with him I realized it wasn't about just me anymore. I had this baby coming and the partying, it had to stop. being a derelict had to stop. But he, he really opened my eyes to what it means to be a man, basically. And try to step up to the plate

10;48;22
BRYON SLOWLY WITHDREW FROM SKINHEAD ACTIVITIES, SPENDING MORE TIME WITH FAMILY AND LESS TIME WITH THE VINLANDERS.

10;48;30
BRYON
I was trying to actually provide food for my family, and the crew took a second place. It didn't, it didn't have the, uh, priority that it once had. And everybody started getting kind of pissy about it.

10;48;42
BRYON
And eventually, uh, Brian James, the president of the club called me up and said I had to make a choice between either my family or them. And, so I chose my family.

10;48;55
THREATS AND HARASSMENT QUICKLY FOLLOWED.

10;48;59
BRYON
There were calls at three o'clock in the morning saying, "We're coming to get you." Random phone calls, "you're going to die. Your family's going to die."

10;49;07
JULIE
Some of the threats we did take seriously because the guys that he was involved in are known to, um, act violent towards others even people in the movement.

10;49;21
BRYON
I had to live on red alert. I wasn't sleeping at night because I was just wondering when seven, eight guys were going to kick in my door and just start shooting everybody.
BRYON:
I didn't want to let my kids play outside. I couldn't in good conscience let them play in a yard where somebody could just drive into the yard and run them over.

10;49;36
BRYON
And, to put those kids through that was just, it was miserable on that aspect, plus it was miserable that, you know, seven or eight of these guys decide to show that there was very little I could do about it, besides just get myself killed and let them have their way. You know, it was, it was hell. And it was hard.

DIP TO BLACK
MUSIC
10;50;01
AFTER BRYON AND JULIE LEFT THE WHITE POWER MOVEMENT, THE COUPLE WERE BEING THREATENED BY BRYON'S FORMER MATES.

10;50;08
JULIE
They take everything that you entrusted with them and they throw it right at you. And that's what they did to me. And I was pregnant with Tyrsen, I was so sick. I was, you know, cramping up. We thought, we thought we were going to lose him.

10;50;21

10;50;27
JULIE: That was the summer you had a nervous breakdown.

BRYON: Yeah. Julie and I got into an argument one day over, uh, some, some shirt on the clothesline outside. And she was hormonal, and I was dealing with her being pregnant plus dealing with the club bullshit. I snapped, and I threw her and Isabella out of the room. And, um, I ate a bottle of pills.

10;50;46
JULIE:
I found the empty pill bottle. And got him to tell me that he took them. And then got him, got him to get out of the bedroom, and get him downstairs. And raced him to the emergency room.

10;51;02
JULIE: It was pretty horrible. It was one of those, I'm pregnant, don't leave me. Don't leave me with all this stuff going on. You know, I love you, you know, we finally found each other. We have so much in common. You know, I finally found someone that, you know, relates to me and I can be myself to. And that knows me heart and soul. And it just -- I didn't want to lose him.

10;51;29
BRYON: I was a roller coaster at that point. It was up and down. I was just a wreck. I got into mental care and started seeing a shrink to get my, get my head back together.
BRYON: I made the decision to quit drinking then. It was incredibly hard 'cause I, I did it cold turkey. I just, just quit drinking. And it was, it was rough.

10;51;45
JULIE: So he made the decision. Never once did I give him an ultimatum. Not once, to quit drinking. He did all that on his own.

DIP TO BLACK
FADE UP ON HOUSE

10;51;57
GRAPHIC:
MORNING OF FINAL TREATMENT
18 MONTHS AFTER START OF TATTOO REMOVAL
MUSIC
10;52;09
JULIE: Morning, babe.

BRYON: Morning beautiful.

JULIE: How you doing?

BRYON: All right.

JULIE: Last treatment today.

BRYON: Yep.
JULIE: I can't believe it's been a year and a half.

BRYON: A year gone [LAUGHTER]. A long, long time.

10;52;26
JULIE: It's unbelievable. I mean it's been a long time. But, I can't believe it's at the end. I think about him, and how he feels. Because I know why he got the tattoos on his face to begin with. And I wonder, 'cause it, when he's quiet sometimes, how he's feeling, how he's thinkin', with the tattoos off, because he thought he was unattractive. I think he's extremely attractive with or without 'em.

10;52;48

10;52;55
LOWER THIRD
JOE ROY
CHIEF INVESTIGATOR, SOUTHERN POVERTY LAW CENTER JOE
We've had some pretty, pretty great cases here at the Southern Poverty Law Center. This one for me has been a lot- been different. I mean it's, it's an opportunity to see what life's all about. I mean, life is about redemption. And we're trying to, you know, to, uh, find our way in life. And, and this is an illustration on steroids.

10;53;04
JULIE
I'd like to personally thank the Southern Poverty Law Center. We wouldn't be making this change in our life because we would never have been able to afford it.  we owe them so much and just this has been incredible. This -- I'm gonna cry. This has just -- it's -- it's been a great trip. It really has.
JULIE
I mean, somebody cared enough for another human being, you know, and another family to do this -- to allow this to happen. I'm so incredibly grateful.

10;53;48
BRYON
There've been a couple times when I wanted to throw in the towel where I just -- I didn't wanna do it anymore. It's been hard. It really has.

10;53;55
LEZLIE: Hey guys.

JULIE: Are you ready for us now?

LEZLIE: We're ready.

JULIE: Come here. Thank you for everything. For taking care of him. I just wanted to say thank you. This is our last treatment.

10;54;08
LEZLIE: [OVERLAP] Well, you're welcome. I don't wanna get sad.

JULIE: Well you've been awesome.

LEZLIE: We're not doing this.

BRYON: No. [LAUGH]

LEZLIE: We'll see you again. We'll see you again.

JULIE: Okay.

10;54;17
LEZLIE: This is not a goodbye.

JULIE: Shut-up.

BRYON: You guys are doing the girl thing.

LEZLIE: Julie--

JULIE: I know. You guys have become like family. So it's awesome.

BRYON: You ready, man?
JOSH: Ready when you are.

BRYON: All right. Let's roll.

10;54;36
DR SHACK: This is number 25. And when we started this process months ago, I never imagined it would take this long
DR SHACK
What he's done with his life has been remarkable. We're just proud to have been able to play some small role in this rehabilitation process for him, and, um, hopefully this will be, uh, something that he will carry with him and, and continue to do well, the rest of his life. Anybody who puts themselves through this much torture, is bound to wanna do something good with it, once it's all over with absolutely.

10;55;06
DR SHACK: Okay that was it. Bryon we're all done buddy. I got it. We'll tell him again when he wakes up. But we're done.

10;55;24
DR SHACK
It's been an interesting road. You know we've gotten to know them so well. They've sort of become a part of our routine around here.

10;55;30
JULIE: You have been awesome.

DR SHACK: Yeah, well. We've been through a lot together, all three of us, yeah.


JULIE: you guys sh - - truly showed us the meaning of family., because…

DR SHACK: Well, good.

JULIE: You know, what we thought we were into, there's no comparison, on, on true feelings, you know.

10;55;42
DR SHACK: Well, it's, it's been our pleasure. It's been a joy gettin' to know you guys and we're gonna miss seein' ya so much [LAUGHTER].

JULIE: [OVERLAP] I know.

DR SHACK: All right.

10;55;49
JULIE: Wanna get up, get dressed?

BRYON: Sure.

JULIE: I'll help you.

BRYON: Sure.

10;55;54
DR SHACK
He's the one that brought the light. We just did the work. He wanted to make these changes, and so it was very important for us to be able to try to help him if we could, and even though it took a lot longer than any of us ever expected that it would, I think we've wound up with what's gonna be a very nice outcome for him.

10;56;09
BRYON
Dr. Shack's office always treated me with dignity and with respect. To them the tattoos weren't there. I was a normal person in their eyes. And that's rare for me. I never felt out of place there, at all. They have always been so helpful, so sweet. I mean, I love those guys. I really do.

10;56;27
LEZLIE: Now I'm getting teary.

JULIE: Oh, no.

LEZLIE: Bye.
JULIE: Bye. Oh sweetie.

LEZLIE: Yeah.

LEZLIE: Bye.

10;56;40
JULIE: Bye.

LEZLIE: Kiss the baby for me.

JULIE: I will. You too.

LEZLIE: Bye, Bryon.

BRYON: Bye-bye, Lezlie. Take care.

JULIE: Bye guys.

DIP TO BLACK
Music

10;56;56
BRYON
I have my face back. It's great. I'm just- I'm so excited. And you know I'm so blessed that the opportunity came to where I could get it done, you know. God's obviously smiling upon me for some reason.

10;57;12
CREDITS

10;58;45
FADE TO BLACK, END OF FILM

10;59;00 - TEXTLESS ELEMENTS

11;01;49 - END TEXTLESS ELEMENTS

Citation

Main credits

Brummel, Bill (Producer)
Brummel, Bill (Screenwriter)
Brummel, Bill (Director)
O'Donnell, Lawrence (Narrator)

Other credits

Directors of photography, Kevin O'Brien, John Rhode; editor, Dan Wolfmeyer; music, FirstCom Music.


Distributor credits

Bill Brummel

Bill Brummel

Docuseek2 subjects

Race and Racism
Cosmetic Surgery
Social Psychology
Sociology

Distributor subjects

No distributor subjects provided.

Keywords

skinhead; tattoo; plastic surgery; white power movement; cosmetic surgery; hate groups; "Erasing Hate"; Scorpion TV; Southern Poverty Law Center;

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